EXHAUSTED...

is the word that describes how I feel after being a single mom for what feels like 3 years. I know for sure, all my friends out there with deployed spouses or other single moms know exactly how I feel. Do you ever get to the point where you couldn't care less what your house looks like or how long your grass is or that you have nothing in the refrigerator? This is the stage I am at right now. I am so TIRED. I feel like I am about to have a mental breakdown. I am the only one that has to worry about EVERYTHING there is to worry about. Such as...doctor appts., parent-teacher conferences, callings, laundry, lawn mowing, visiting teaching, homework, housework, grocery shopping and all that that entales, sports, sick kids, bills, the dog and her vet visits, abusive grandmothers, irritating relatives,birthdays, Christmas, and the list goes on and on. I don't think a man will ever get this or understand how it feels. I don't think they get the mental part of it. I get a lot of offers from people asking me if I want them to help with my kids, but the thing folks just don't understand is it isn't the kids I really need a break from. It's the giant mental list that is constantly filled up with the things I mentioned a few sentences back. So, ladies, after all the crap we have to deal with don't you think we deserve a crazy minute from time to time. I mean can't we just at least go out of our element and act a little nuts and do something we wouldn't normally do without being chastised for it? I defintely think we should be able to do this. I mean it's either act out or end up in prison, right? I sure think so! I don't think a man would ever be able to grasp that mental overload and what it can drive you to do or say! Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I the only nutty broad out there that goes in-frigging-sane? Please feel free to comment on this matter! I am seriously at my wits end and I feel like I am supposed to be feeling guilty about this but I just DO NOT feel guilty. I think I am completely justified in feeling a little like a person that needs to be institutionalized.

I do have people that are more than willing to make me feel less overwhelmed. I went to my friend's (Collette) wedding tonight. She was a war widow that I had met in Clarksville. Her first husband was killed almost 3 years ago. They had 4 kids and it was a devastating time. It was so good to see her happy again! How awesome she finally gets some help and a new partner! After Trisha and I had returned home from the event I pulled up to my house and Uncle Matt had all the kids out there raking up the leaves that covered my yard. It was a little weight lifted. Then I asked my kids if they had seen the Budge family and Ryan told me they had already left my house and that Matt Budge had fixed a portion of my fence that wasn't closed in. Now we will be able to let our dog out in the yard without worrying about her getting out and having to chase her down! These 2 things were HUGE for me! I am so very grateful to these good men! Two checks off that list I was talking about earlier! Thanks guys, from the bottom of my heart.

Is anyone else as glad as I am that Halloween is over? We had our little party last night with all our Halloween edibles. We then went trick or treating. Me doing all of this with the worst sinus infection ever. One of those where it is so bad that my teeth hurt. I was so tired and sick. We got home and I went straight to bed. Cody came to bed with me and about 3 hours later he was up throwing up! What a great night! Then about 5 a.m. he had diarrhea all in my bed. I had to get up with the same sinus infection to bathe him and change the sheets! Yes I deserve the right to go crazy and do something out of character, right?!! I do believe so :)