Monday, August 24, 2009

Just a few things...

that have bugged the crap out of me today....first of all, the car pick line at the elementary school is enough to make me want to home school, well not really, but it does make me mad! So many idiots don't follow the rules and park in the line and then get out of their cars and block everything up! FRUSTRATING! Another thing, people who get on facebook and blab all their personal stuff. People, I do not need to know who your ex-husband is boinking and that your kids have to go to juvenile court. I mean, please, folks, have an ounce of class. One more thing that bugs me and I don't really know why....when people use made up names for their kids on blogs. This is so silly to me. I get why you wouldn't want to blab your kids names on a public blog but don't make up corny names for them. You could say my oldest child, or use them by their birth order (i.e. child 1, 2, 3 or 4). But the corny nick names are a bit much for my taste.

Did you know that 17% of the population actually exercise for pleasure? I am NOT in that percentage! I also read that when your heart gets used to one cardiovascular exercise you have to either go longer, exercise more frequently or increase your intensity. All this translates to exercise will never be fun.

Let me tell you about my worst nightmare that came to life last week. I walked into my bathroom preparing to shower, I believe it was Friday. I looked up at the little window that is in the shower. It's one of those little ones that sits up high so nobody is able to look in it. Anyway, I notice there is a bug in between the windows. I step up on the edge of the tub to see exactly what type of bug it is. A roach! Hate 'em. The window is slid open so this means the bug is on the inside between the 2 sections of windows.. I was a little nervous because I have a wicked aversion to insects. I know they won't hurt me but I still don't want them on me! I had to shower though so I kept a close eye on the thing while I was showering. Well as I was rinsing my hair I had to take my eyes off of him and as soon as I was done I look up to see that he is nowhere in sight. Of course I say a curse word in my mind and start speeding the shower along. The next thing I know the damn thing has crawled off the ledge and landed in the shower....with me! Screaming, I sling the shower curtain back, hop out of the shower in my shower suit to see my 8 year old standing there and he says "what's wrong mom?" completely nonchalant as if he sees me everyday getting out of the shower screaming! The roach had landed belly up in the water and I stood there until he was down the drain. It was awful, y'all. I have chills as I write about it. We need to think about moving to another house. I can't take all these critters!

Ashley's tip of the week-This is for the ladies-go have yourself fitted for a bra. Statistics show that almost 90% of women are wearing the wrong size bra! Dillard's does this service for free. Victoria's Secret does to, but, to me, these ladies don't seem to know much about a GOOD bra. Dillard's people know what they are talking about. I have been to VS twice to get sized and both times I got an idiot! If you have never been properly sized you must do this. You will thank me!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Smart cars.....

are ridiculous. Have you ever seen one? They look like little Tonka cars. It is so hard to take anyone serious when they are driving around town in one. I can think of little that is cornier than owning a "Smart" car. Not to mention how silly one looks while crammed into one. All this "green" nonsense is getting a little out of hand, don't ya think? I mean, I'm all for saving the Earth, but it's hard to take it serious when we live in such a world of abundance.

If you had asked me a year ago if I liked to read I would have said hell no. BUT....I have read 5 books this summer and I am so proud of myself! I started The Time Traveler's Wife on Sunday and have pretty much been worthless ever since. I finally finished it today and feel complete. I think I have an addiction to good love stories. They make me want to rape Charles, I love him so much. The book was much better than the movie for anyone that's interested in seeing the movie or reading the book.

So, Charles and I have started going to the gym 3 days a week during his lunch hour to lift weights. Now, I'm not a gym pro or anything but I do know a thing or 2 about weight lifting since I saw a trainer back in 2005. Reggie taught me my way around the gym. What cracks me right up when I go are the guys that don't know very much and they lift these massive amounts of weights and scream out as if they are dying in the process. Charles calls them gym gorillas because that is exactly what they sound like. Then you have the guys that Charles refers to as having I.L.S. (imaginary lat syndrome) The guys that walk around with their arms beefed out to their sides as if there is no room to put them down since their lats are so huge, but they're not huge, they actually have no lats at all! Think Chris Farley in Tommy Boy when he's walking by the pool and runs into the girl and asks her where the gym is. Not that either one of us is all muscular and ripped out, however, we also aren't walking around as if we are either!

By the way, I'm one hell of a baker. I know that's bragging and I hate when people do that but I feel that it's important for people to know :)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Can someone pleeeease.....

tell me why in the hell women do this? Ok ladies, I am not calling myself a style icon, artist or anything in the style industry, BUT for heaven's sake I have enough sense to know this is the biggest fashion faux pas known to man. So why in the world would someone humiliate themselves like this? Are women seriously thinking they look good when they walk out of the house like this? A bit of free advice from Ashley....don't EVER do this....EVER. Also, if you're in your 30's. stop shopping at Forever 21. If there are 2 things in fashion that leave me baffled beyond belief it is the accentuated muffin top and older ladies that are desperately trying to hang on to their youth. Women in their 30's can still be classy AND sexy all at the same time. Please girls this has to stop....NOW! Could you imagine BEING the chubby girl in the picture? This picture pops up when you google "muffin top." If that ain't a wake up call....cover it up sweetie!

I took my two young sons to the pool today and the pool side was filled with girls trying hard to look good in a bikini. I felt so bad that most of them thought they had the stuff to be out there barely clad. It wouldn't have been any worse if I had been laying out there in a 2 piece. There is no way, after 4 kids and looking as if Freddie Krueger clawed me from head to thigh, I would ever step out in public in a bathing suit that resembles panties and a bra. So where are these other gals getting the assumption that they need to be out there like that? I would love to know where this confidence comes from. I'll stop there......Sweet Mary!

Went on a date with Charles tonight! We saw The Time Traveler's Wife. It was a sad little movie. I need to steer clear of the death thing for a while. It was a good movie though. I'm thinking I should read the book since it left me with a lot of unanswered questions.

This is a real picture from a facebook page. Apparently the chick was at a NASCAR race, go figure, and snapped this picture! Don't ever try this! Please Fred! Low waist jeans, another no-no! Especially on a fat person.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I LOVE.....

coming home when all the kids are tucked safely away in bed! I had enrichment meeting tonight and left dinner up to the boys! I had to teach a class and I was a little on edge. My day went well until I got a call from the school nurse telling me the other side of Josh's face was swollen and he was in pain. Got him into the doc and they are running some blood work and hopefully we can get it all figured out. Poor kid! Once all the kids got home I felt like my voice couldn't get below 800 decibels. I hate when my kids get into the mood when they don't want to listen to me. I make them pay me if I have to repeat myself and that drives Charlie crazy. The other ones usually don't have any money so they couldn't care less.

So, I get to church tonight and prepare everything for my lesson. I wasn't nervous until I got there and starting sorting through all the handouts. I start teaching and I couldn't stop sweating and then I couldn't catch my breath! Completely embarrassing. I had to teach the class twice, too! The 2nd time around went much better. In the first class, I gave my experience on collecting a food storage, since that was the subject matter I was to teach on. I started with the basic items and blah, blah, blah! I went into my spill and this well-meaning lady comes up to me at the end and tells me that what I had just taught was basically "old school." But I got all my info from the church website.....hmm.....interesting. Apparently she has a food storage website and gives her ideas, which are fabulous ideas, but a little more overwhelming than what has worked for us. Oh well, take it with a grain of salt....right? :-|

I am attending a funeral tomorrow for a man that was in our ward. He died of cancer and leaves behind a wife and son. He was relatively young and had a pretty drawn out illness. It is very sad and I am a little nervous about it all. I know we have a better life when we go beyond the veil and all that but death is still very sad to me. Especially when there are people left behind to mourn. I can't imagine ever losing Charles. I don't know how I would go on. I mean, yes, there are definitely times when he is lucky to make the cut on my facebook friends list but I love that man like mad! He's perfect for me and I could never find someone better than him. Plus... he has a really cute butt! ;) That's my standard!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Long week......

Yes, it has been a very long week. I have much to report since my last posting. First and foremost, school started on Thursday! I didn't get to enjoy Friday as much since Josh had to miss his first day of school on Friday. His jaws were swollen like chipmunk cheeks. Apparently, the doc thought he had some swollen lymph glands. His jaws were swollen and painful and I didn't want his teacher and the school nurse to freak out and think he had mumps so he got to stay home.

We also we got our first chicken egg on Thursday! That was exciting. I'm a little nervous about eating our own eggs so I will throw that one in a batch of cookies or something. And speaking of baking, I made a delicious, homemade peach pie for our ward chili dinner on Friday! I had it sitting out to cool when Charles and I headed out for our daily bike ride. We were about a quarter of the way through the ride when Charles grew concerned that Charlie and Ryan would pick at the pie when they returned home from school. He called around their return time to inform them that the pie was for the dinner and "DO NOT touch it". Well sure enough we get back home and there's a huge finger poke in the dadgum pie. This happens quite frequently. It's not like my kids are small children or never get desserts. I am constantly baking for my family. They had no regard for the fact that I had worked hard on the dang pie and that they had been told not to touch it. So....they had to go without dessert at the ward chili dinner and that's as good as Chinese torture for my kids. Since nobody fessed up to the hole in the center of the pie all 4 of them had to suffer the punishment :)

And speaking of our bike ride, Charles was hit by some old broad yesterday. We took a new route that was busier than our normal one. We get to the last part of the ride and come to this very busy intersection. We waited at the light for our turn to pass through the crosswalk. We had been waiting a while when the light finally turned. I head out into the crosswalk with Charles close behind me when this lady pulls up and smacks right into his front tire. I look to my left and see the car coming at me and my hiney puckered right up and I had to swerve my bike so she wouldn't hit me and then I hear Charles yell at me and realize she has hit him. Then she just sits there and stares at Charles and didn't say a word. Since I was all nervous about the situation I had to say something to the woman to ease my nerves. I told her she needed to be more careful and watch what she was doing or she was going to kill someone. I was so frustrated. People have died because idiots haven't been watching what they were doing while driving. I was never so glad for a bike ride to be over by the time we got home. Even though he wasn't seriously hurt got a glimpse of just how pissed I would be if someone killed a person that I love because of carelessness. Then when I think of other people who have forgiven idiots that have killed their loved ones, it makes that all the more amazing to me that they can do that. I would have a hard time with that situation.

We took a trip to Phoenix today for a youth temple trip. I would NEVER be able to live in Phoenix. It is so hot and it takes the a/c in the car way too long to cool off. I don't think I stopped sweating the entire time I was there. It was a long day but at least I didn't have to sell anything off to get there and it only took 3 hours of driving time and not a 3 day journey. We're pretty lucky! Glad to be home sweet home though :) Plus, I have the cutest husband in the ward!

Monday, August 3, 2009

It's been a while since I've posted. Charles has been on leave for over a week and he's been distracting me! It's been a fun break. It will be more fun when the kids get back to school on Thursday! Our friends, the Budge's, came last week so we got to do things we normally don't do. We took them to Kartchner Caverns. Apparently, this cave is one of the most pristine, living caves in Arizona or maybe even in the country. I can't remember. It was huge though and our guide was a hag so she made it hard to want to listen to her. At one point Tyler, the Budge's 4 year old, sat down on a man made ledge. The guide went over to where he sat and marked the place so she could send a clean up crew in to properly clean the lint from the area so the cave would remain living. I felt like a was in a scene out of Monsters, Inc. The part where the monster comes back from the kid's closet and he has a sock attached to his back and the clean up crew comes over and strips him down and shaves all of his hair off! Ridiculous! First of all, there were people in there putting in lights and walkways and working to make the cave accessible to the public. Anyway, the lady had no people skills and she made the humidity in the cave hard to deal with. I'm still having flashbacks so I need to move on.

Charles and I were on our 10 miler today and it was hard for me to get through the ride for some reason. I started to think about the Tour de France competitors and it made me feel that my 10 little miles isn't that big of a deal to some people. But for me it's a doozy. It's quite an accomplishment for Ashley. Of course you can't think about the Tour de France without thinking of Lance Armstrong. Little Lance. Hmm....he once was this excellent cyclist. Well he still is a great cyclist he just doesn't seem as humble as he once was. He starts out with testicular cancer and had a hard time getting a sponsor, postal service sponsors him and he becomes a cycling legend. He marries a great lady that gives birth to his 3 children. Now, I'm not all knowing, believe it or not, BUT, it seems as though his cycling greatness and fame went a little to his head. He beats the odds with his cancer, wins a million Tour de France races and then divorces his wife, starts hanging out with Matthew McConaughey and just acting like a frat boy in general. He retires and I suppose the no attention thing started getting to him so he enters the Tour de France once again and takes 3rd place. Now he could have just stayed married to his wife, enjoyed the fame while it lasted, retired gracefully and gone away a cycling legend and he could be fulfilled to this day with the good life the good Lord gave him. Like I said, I'm not all knowing. It just seems to me that he is trying to find fulfillment in other areas, like cycling. I guess another way satan takes a good thing and turns it into a bad thing. Just a few thoughts I had out on the trail today :-| I just wonder how long it would take Lance to do my 10 miles....I'm sure a lot less time than it takes me.

This post was abandoned yesterday, August 3rd.

We went canoeing yesterday afternoon. It was pretty fun. The last time we went canoeing it was pre-weight loss. I had to sit in the middle of the canoe as to not tip it! We had crammed all 6 of us in one canoe. I was a little concerned about the trip yesterday because of the bad memories I had from the last trip. Charles assured me all would be well. He's bigger than me now and he was confident I would not have to sit in the middle of the canoe. Once we launched my fears were calmed and we had a grand time. Charlie and Cody were in my canoe and Charlie was enjoying making me madder than a wet hen. He kept swirling his paddle and we were going around in circles. Charles was sure I was the incompetent one. We were doing great until Charlie started his crap. The funny thing though, on the way back to the dock Charles was caught in the same type of current we had been in when we couldn't stop going in circles :) This made me happy! He was for sure that I just didn't know how to row. Good Fairy! We had a good time though.

School starts Thursday and I couldn't be more excited!