Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Fat Bottom Girls Make the Rockin' World Go 'Round

Well, what a fun filled summer it was! Believe it or not I was not ready for my kids to start school last Wednesday. Mostly because we had returned from a 2 week vacation the day before it started. I had to get the new school clothes washed, groceries purchased and school supplies bought. Not to mention pick up the schedules and meet the new teachers. All of this after driving across the country for 26 hours. We've made the trip from Arizona to Alabama many times but it seemed much easier this time since we don't have babies. It was still miserable to be in the car for such a long period. The state of Texas takes days to drive through, Louisiana has some of the worst, bumpy highways of any state I have ever driven through, Mississippi has more gospel radio stations than one state needs. I assume that's because that state is largely populated with black people. You know you're entering southern country when the blacks out number the Mexicans. Where have all the white people gone? My goodness! I'm starting to wonder if I have racist tendencies....nah!

We did have a great summer! We went to the pool, played basketball and had as much fun as you can possibly have in a town as crappy as Sierra Vista! Our vacation back to the south was, of course, the highlight of summer 2010. We saw all of our family, well the ones we wanted to see anyway, went to an amazing science center filled with screaming, stinky kids, spent a week at the beach and even saw my almost 90 year old grandmother. The kids weren't so hip on sitting in her tiny nursing home room and having my dad go nuts at every little move they made! Of course the alarm that kept going off wasn't helping matters either. Not a good thing to hear when you're sitting on the bed of a 90 year old woman!

Since my grandmother moved into a nursing home her things needed to be divvied up among family. My dad's brother got anything that might be of some value and we were able to pick through the rest! We were able to walk away with things that were valuable to us and probably even valuable to the rest of the population! I got lots of old pictures and even a rolling pin that my great grand-father carved with a pocket knife sometime in the 1800's. I also retrieved all of my grand-mother's old wigs! Weird, I know, but my kids have sure had a blast with those things! I couldn't resist when I saw the box sitting there in that hot, Alabama storage unit! I remember those things from when I was a little girl. Well, not those actual wigs. They seem to have lightened up as the years have gone by BUT she still had them on the same styrofoam heads I remembered from years ago! Charles was a little creeped out that we got the wigs. He wouldn't even open the box when we got home. He sure did enjoy seeing me in one of those things and quickly decided we needed to keep them.

I'm so glad we got to see the family that we desired to see. I am glad that my kids were able to be a part of a bigger family for a couple of weeks. It broadened the picture on eternal families for me and made me realize how grateful I am to have such great people in our families!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I don't really know what to say today but I feel like it should be something. I can't just write up a posting like my last one and go into hiding for another 3 months.

Charles and I have been swimming at night and of course we have 4 kids that like to come along. Cody passed the swim test this year, which allows him to swim in the deep end without an adult within arm's reach of him. Since this feat he likes to see how far down he can swim in 11 feet waters. Charles and I warned him that he shouldn't get near the pool drains as this is very dangerous. Charles felt like he should take it a step further and tell our kids a tragic story of a kid who got to close to the pool drains and had his innards sucked out. Of course Cody and his 7 year old brain takes this story very serious. He comes up to me the other night after I had completed my swim and he says in his most serious voice "Hey, Mom, you know that kid that got his butt hole sucked out? Well... was it like the big squares that they have in this pool?" " Yes, buddy, just like those!" The things that kid thinks up! We were on our way to a BBQ, and I say BBQ because the person was using a gas grill and not charcoal, when Cody asks Charles and me "hey, how do you spell douche bag?" I'm sorry but I cracked right up! How do you not laugh at something like that? No... they do not learn that from the parents but from their older brothers! We're good people!

Charles has gone crazy training for this triathlon. For me, I just wanted to see if I could do it and wanted him to start exercising with me. Now he is all into it and I am wishing I had never started. We have been reading on transitioning between events and there are stories of spandex and speed and everything in between. I have no desire to put this body in a pair of spandex and don't see why anyone else would want to do that either. But I'm glad he has found something he likes to do:)

There I was standing in my kitchen, canning salsa and minding my own business when Cody yells "Mom, there's a scorpion, move away..." There it was in all it's glory straightening and curling his tail right below my feet. Cody ran to his room, grabbed his shoe and ran back to whack it 5 good licks. He was a goner in no time. That is one good thing about having all boys.

Since they are so fabulous, we're going to the circus tomorrow! I'm excited:)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Where has the time gone?

Here is a list of Cody's summer demands! If you can't read it clearly he states "you haft give us a 2 popcycles every day. give us a pickel. take us swimming and take us to the park when we want to. from: cody LOVE that kid! He had tucked it away by the couch last night. He was angry that he didn't get a popsicle before bed last night! This picture had to go to the top because I was tired of adding pictures to the bottom!

Of course I must write tonight! I can't believe it's been 3 months since my last post :| Indeed, I have lots of good reasons for a hiatus. First off, we celebrated 3 birthdays in 10 days and I was in charge of 2 of them. March 30-April 9th is full of ideas about cakes, gifts and how to celebrate on the child's big day. I am planning for weeks on each one.

Ryan chose a kitty litter cake! The taste wasn't worth the effort!

Cody likes to be very precise on how he desires his big day to pan out.

Here is a sample of the awsomeness of my mothering skills!
Cody's 7th b'day cake!

Thank goodness that's over.....for nearly 3 months now. Hey, I'm just now recovering! Then Charlie and Ryan participated in a HUGE cultural event celebrating the new Gila Valley Temple. They practiced their dance moves for weeks. It involved lots of traveling and preparation! They got to perform for President Monson for the finale. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed. 1600 kids singing "Come Come Ye Saints" while a live Angel Moroni was being raised was quite sensational! I am very grateful that 2 of my children were able to participate in something like that!

Now school is out and my kids turn into lazy slobs during these summer months. If it were up to my 4 sons my grocery bill would triple. For some reason their stomachs double in size during these months and so does the laundry pile and the mess around this place. Funny thing is I was super excited about school coming to an end 3 weeks ago! Don't get me wrong, I love those kids but they're stinky and messy and make me nuts!Another wonderful thing is Charles and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary on June 14th! We celebrated by each of us getting new road bikes, having dinner in Tucson and eating an ungodly amount of Cold Stone Creamery ice cream! I thought I was going to laugh my head off when my husband walked out of that place with the BIGGEST ice cream servings I have ever seen! If you're gonna do it, do it right! That's Charles' motto:) It sure was tasty!

Another, sort of dumb, thing we have gotten ourselves into is a triathlon. A friend mentioned doing one and maybe dividing up the events and I talked Charles into doing it with me and now we are stuck doing all 3 events. I say stuck because now that we are training Charles has gotten all into it and wants to do all 3 (swim, bike, run) and no dividing it up. Now I'm in a wild panic about getting my not so small ass out there and trying to cross the finish line. Good thing it's only a sprint. I do have sense enough to not sign up for anything bigger than that! I can swim and bike well enough and I jog/bounce my way through the 5K! Even if it takes me 6 hours I will cross that finish line!

I have had my fair share of mean and rude people in the last month. I'm not sure what I was supposed to be learning but I hope I have learned it. We've had a few shockers these last few weeks but we seemed to have come out unscathed and we're better for it. However, I did have quite a shocker today on my little facebook page. We return home from our morning bike ride, Charles decides to make himself a bite to eat and I decide I would take a gander at my FB home page! As I am going through I take note of a few depressing postings and FB asked what was on my mind! Well I told her what was on my mind and it was that "Ashley Tucker Woods is wondering why people get on facebook to discuss their ailments...." The next thing I know all hell has broken loose and I am still confused at the responses that one little posting has received:) But the one little posting that really irritated me the most was the one made by my husband's father. Moral advice coming from a man that has done the things he has done was a little more than I could take. Of course, I can't get on FB and say the MT things I wanted to say. Believe me, it took some SERIOUS restraint not letting my filter fly out the window but I had to think of the kids on my friends list and all the seriously religious people that would see that stuff. I can't even imagine the controversy that could have caused! Goodness that's really the biggest reason that caused me to come to my little public diary and vent! Charles' step-sister and step-mom and obviously his dad felt as though the comment was directed at the step-sis and all hell broke loose from there. It actually turned into a hysterically comical episode that has left me stunned! I'm pretty sure it all stems from Charles and some certain emails a couple of years ago. Who knows? And really...who the hell cares? But the bottom line is... I know how to make myself happy and couldn't give a crapola what other people think!

Ok~ We took the kids to movies in the park a few weeks ago and saw this too! Charles had to snap a picture. I mean I'm all for being confident in your own skin but she has taken it to a whole new level! If you look closely you can see crack also! I know, I know...if you can't say anything nice....just sleep with your co-worker....right?

Cody is learning how to play!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

We've been busy......

finishing the RV. I say we meaning mostly Charles and the kids. I did, however, help with a lot of the painting. But after being in such a small space and having mostly cutting in to do I grew tired of that job fast. A lot of the work required skills that I do not possess so I opted to clean the heck out of my house this weekend. Charles had put in for leave for the entire week of spring break so we could work on the RV and take our first voyage! They worked diligently through the weekend and finished what needed to be done to get it out and we were set to leave Tuesday morning! The kids were so excited! We had picked our boondocking spot and everything:) We piled into the RV and we were set until Charles turned the key and got no response! Not even a single noise. It was as if we had stuck a toothpick in the ignition. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Charles looks over at me and and I say "Now what do we do?" Charles looks under the hood and about 20 minutes later he discovers it's some solenoid something or other and teaches Charlie how to hot wire the thing and we're off! Until we stop for gas and the same thing happens. This time the engine becomes flooded and we're stuck at the gas station for another 20 minutes then the hot wiring trick works again and we're off to somewhere between Bisbee and Douglas, Arizona! It was out in the middle of nowhere on this little, old lady's land that she has opened up to boondockers. Boondocking is actually RVing for free but she had a suggested "donation" price board once you entered the property. She was a sweet old lady with a wild life story. Animals were everywhere and we met a guy who is traveling throughout the west and had been at the Silverado ranch for about 3 weeks! Belle Star is the owner of the ranch and she has a donkey that roams the property and there was poop everywhere. Apparently she lives life to think that animals are low maintenance. There were also horses, geese, chickens, roosters, peacocks and dogs! There was a dead horse in a trash pile and the next day a neighbor came out to burn the pile..... so...... that took care of that! We had a pretty good time. For some reason, my husband and kids thoroughly enjoy living primitive. Although is wasn't too bad since we had running water, toilets and a shower. I mean really, how primitive are you when you run through a 40 gallon water tank in less than 24 hours? The thing I enjoyed most was watching my kids have a good time and feeling close as a family out in the middle of nowhere. I also loved the fact that Charlie wasn't at all embarrassed to get out and help his dad hot wire our hoopty of an RV! We laughed the whole time at that experience. I'm just glad to be married to a man that knows what to do with an old, crappy piece of machinery. He's driven enough of them in his lifetime! Those memories are another story for another day! Oh and the next day we walked over to the "tamed" horses pen since we were told we could ride them. Well Bryan, the vagabond, was trying to help us figure out how to rein and saddle them when the 2 horses started going crazy and bucking. Scared the heck out of me and Bryan too since he spouted off a few expletives. I think I would have too because he was the one holding the one that was bucking and that horse was slinging him all over the place. Bryan thought he was going to get the crap kicked out of him and he was saying a silent prayer the whole time. I decided since we didn't know what the hell we were doing and the horses weren't being cooperative there was no way I was going to let any of my kids giddy up! I'd rather forfeit a few minutes of good old fashioned fun than one of my kids' spinal cords. Those horses may have been tamed at one point but I would have felt safer atop a wild mustang! I hope she doesn't tell anyone else those babies are for riding!

This morning Charles took Charlie and Ryan on another camping excursion for scouts. They took out the beast again. Josh, Cody and myself are left at home for the next couple of days but I ain't sad about it. We have big plans! Today was swimming and tomorrow is Diary of a Wimpy Kid! I couldn't be more thrilled:) Pictures of our RV adventure will be available when Charles returns Saturday!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Wild and CrAzY!

Charles is amazed there hasn't been a blog posting in 8 days since we had quite the week starting last Monday! There we were at 9 p.m. watching our beloved Operation Repo when we started hearing strange noises coming from my most prized household appliance, our washing machine! I went to check it out and found nothing out of the ordinary. The noises stopped so we continued on with the show. Charlie and Ryan had started some of their laundry before going to bed and Charlie decided it was finally time to do his homework (which translates to being a pain in our butts past bedtime). We have a rule in our house that parents have nothing to do with kids if it's after 8:30. Well, the noises in the machine started again and quickly got louder, then there was a loud crack and Charles and I both ran in there to see what in the world was going on. We discovered that our 2 oldest children had both put their soccer shin guards in the washing machine and one had become lodged in the seal of our 2 year old Maytag Epic front loader resulting in the seal becoming shredded and ruined.

YES! I was pissed and said a few choice words before sending them to bed. This incident has resulted in more rules at the Woods' house and we should have no more trouble with anyone tearing up my washing machine. Lucky for me, Charles has a good pair of testicles and can fix these types of things so that we don't have to pay repairmen to do it. He ordered the replacement part immediately and we were without our appliance for an entire week. It finally came when we were headed out of town to Phoenix. It was repaired on Sunday and on Monday I was able to do the 7 loads of laundry that had piled up through the week!

We left for Phoenix Friday night so we could attend the temple on Saturday. We stopped in Tucson for dinner and ate at a place called Frankie's which serves up authentic Philly cheese steak sandwiches. Charles had talked to a guy from work that is a South Philly native and swore this was the best place for Philly Cheesesteaks in Tucson. So we stopped there for dinner, thinking we were going to have the meal of a lifetime, and we were slightly disappointed. For one, we're from the south. We don't really care what they eat in Philly. Maybe what we think is delicious might not be so tasty to others. Don't get me wrong, it was a good sandwich but I won't be rushing back there any time soon:) It was a fun experience though! We arrived in Phoenix just in time to get to bed. We got up early the next morning, went to the temple and came back to our hotel with 3 extra kids (so their parents could go to the temple) and met up with another family with 3 kids. So there we were with about 9 kids in 55 degree rainy weather sitting under a pavilion watching them swim in an outdoor pool! There was also a hot tub so they were able to at least stay warm. It was a grand ole time. We stopped at Ikea on the way out of town and discovered that it was the largest, most overwhelming store I have ever encountered! Apparently it is a Swedish chain that the Swedes think is full of cheaply made crap that Americans would die for! They're not sure what our fascination for this store is all about. It was unlike any shopping experience we have ever had and I loved it. Although we did question the durability of a lot of their merchandise. Oh yeah, we did leave empty handed!

Anyway, I'm training for a 5K. I'm not quite sure that I will actually run one but I will be fully trained for one. I'm in my 4th week of training and it is going rather well. I still haven't developed a love for running but I'm at least doing it. I was at the gym yesterday and there were only 2 treadmills opened so I darted to grab one and the lady I was there with hopped on the other one. I of course was next to this black girl who had a terrible stench. I didn't notice the odor until I was well into my run. I began catching whiffs of what smelled exactly like a butthole. I inconspicuously check my pits to make sure it wasn't me. Once I determined it wasn't me that stunk I started to realize it was the chick next to me. I knew it wasn't my friend because I had been in the car with her and she hadn't smelled foul. The odor got stronger and stronger and was a mix of horrendous B.O., butthole and dirty female crotch. I was running on an empty stomach since I had skipped breakfast so I was extremely weak to the stench. At one point I had to ball my towel up and hold it to my nose. I thought it was either that or I would start gagging. I had to do what was the least embarrassing to me and to the stinky girl and I figured that was it. I thought if my eyes started to water along with my mouth, not the good mouth watering either, and then the gag reflex would kick in. Now, THAT would be super embarrassing! So I chose the towel trick and ran with it held to my nose until she exited the treadmill. I did try to make it look as though I was wiping sweat but then I thought if she had the nerve to go out in public smelling like that then I should be able to have the nerve to prevent having to smell it! So I just balled it up and put it to my nose and had no reservations about not trying to be inconspicuous. Wash your butt ladies, not to mention washing your unmentionables! For cryin' out loud. The thing is, it's not like you wake up and stink like that if you have showered the day before. It takes a few days to get to stinking like that! Now I can't seem to erase the smell out of my mind and I will gag when the thought of it creeps in!

Anyway, that was our week. Oh yeah, we did gut the inside of our RV. Now we are ready to start the fixing up process! It's very exciting to think I won't have to sleep in a sleeping bag on a hard tent floor ever again:) That's what I call camping! Here are some before pictures.

Monday, February 15, 2010


is when a smile has an orgasm! I hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day. This picture was on the front of the card I received from my husband yesterday. He knows me well! I laughed my butt off:)

Lately I've had issues and it has made me want to reflect on the hand I've been dealt in this life. I recently was poking around on facebook and was deleting all the people that had added me as a "friend" that knew me when I was a teenager in Gadsden. They added me, not because we were friends in high school, but, because they wanted to know where my life has ended up. There is one girl, a grown woman now, that is always adding pictures of days gone by and I seem to get resentful whenever I look at these pictures. I seem to be pissed at all the fun she was allowed to have because my mother did a good job at ruining any fun we could have had. Friends came and went because they, or their parents, became fed up with my mother's crazy ass ways. She was very embarrassing and ALWAYS did things that would make you want to crawl in a place never to be heard from again. She, seriously, made being a teenager MISERABLE for me and my sister. So when I look at these pictures, yes, I am resentful at what I feel like I missed out on. However, I was doing some seriously reflecting yesterday and thought about all this. And what I came to realize was all of my good memories have started since I met Charles at 16 years old. We have nearly 15 great years of marriage (June 14) under our belts and we have 4 great kids that are now old enough for us to leave at home and not worry about having to get a babysitter. So, as I clicked through old high school memories that belong to someone else I was grateful for my shitty high school years because my life has only gotten better since those days. For some people their teenage years were the best days of their life but for me my life just keeps getting better. Now I just need to figure out how to get rid of all that resentment I have for my mom. My first step was to rid my facebook friends list of all the people I knew from Gadsden and that I didn't really even care about to begin with! One thing I realized as I flipped through this chick's picture album was that she is either divorced or is going through one or contemplating one! I feel lucky and blessed that my life turned out better than it began. We lived through our 20's and now through our 30's raising our family and growing in ways I could never have imagined. All of my best memories involve Charles and the boys! It's ok that I don't have fun filled photos of my school days. I have grown up with Charles and I am excited for the day to come when we can live a life after our kids are raised and spend our days finding out what it is like to have it just be the 2 of us. Not that I don't dearly love my kids and being a mother, but any mom out there has to admit motherhood does get to be pain in the a-- at times! Unless of course you are the authors of the "blessed beyond belief" blogs and therefore would never in a million years admit your kids drive you effin crazy! BUT....I have no problem whatsoever admitting mine drive me nuts. Like today, Charlie has asked me about 618 times when am I going to take him to Wal-Mart so he can purchase an sir-soft gun. He ain't gonna leave me alone until I do. I love him to pieces though. He spent 4 hours of his Saturday helping an old lady, with a junk filled house and 3 cats, move. He is always involved in service and takes his deacon responsibilities serious so I should just go ahead and take him to purchase his gun!

Cody comes in the office this morning, where I was sitting at the computer desk, wearing a black, long sleeve, Halloween t-shirt and a pair of black soccer shorts. I ask him "Cody, what is that you're wearing?" His reply "some sexy stuff!" and turns to exit the room. It can't get any better than that!

"Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a better past."
Anne Lamott

I'm getting better every day! I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it people like me!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


do so many people have to put a psychological spin on everything? Take bed wetting for instance, some people say that kids wet the bed because there has to be some psychological something that has affected them. Why can't it just be that they have small bladders and are heavy sleepers? Obviously, there are some kids and adults, for that matter, that need to be on meds. I actually have some people in my family that could probably function a lot better if they were medicated! Then you have people that want to have their kids labeled with some "disorder," slap them on some medication and then do nothing to change the behavior. I think these days some kids just need a good ol' fashioned ass-whoopin! But the whole thing that got me thinking about how people try to put a mental spin on everything is the website Yes, I know, some are probably wondering how all of that came about from a book website. I was going through reviews of books I have thought about reading and people put these mile long reviews on there with all of their deepest darkest thoughts. I mean, hell people, did you like the book or not? I don't need all of your baggage along with your opinion. They just kill me with trying to be so deep and it comes across corny as hell! Just for the record, I hate when a wife is called "wifey." I can't think of a cornier word. Don't ever call me a wifey. Absolute silliness.

And speaking of needing an ass beating, what makes all these bleeding heart liberals think that freedom of speech is only for them? They think that amendment is great UNTIL you disagree with them. Then once you don't agree with them they want to pull all that politically incorrect bull crap. I just can't believe all the grief those idiots were giving over the Tim Tebow anti-abortion commercial. Doesn't that man have a right to stand up for what he believes? We are constantly having to witness all the PETA sluts writhing around naked in the name of saving animals but heaven forbid someone try and stand up for an unborn infant's rights! It's unbelievable! It downright pisses me off.

On Monday afternoon, after weeks of not having a desire to get my house in order, I finally got the oomph. I disinfected Josh and Cody's nasty room and got the game closet in fabulous order. I worked for the majority of the afternoon to get it done and it looked wonderful upon completion! When we finished I told Josh and Cody that if their room got that disorderly again I was going to beat them both. Cody says to me..."ok Mom, I think I know what disorderly means." I love that bald headed kid! He started piano lessons yesterday and loves it. He's been excited for weeks about starting and now we will have a good excuse to be piano owners!

Charles is doing a bike relay this weekend. It's an 18 mile loop that you do over and over until the 24 hour time period is up. The team consists of 4 men and when one guy is finished riding then another takes over and so forth until 24 hours is over. It benefits hunger in Tucson and I'm not sure why that sounds fun to him. But hey, to each his own! Isn't that the adage? I sure love him and maybe for his efforts someone will get some delicious food! Of course it falls over President's Day weekend and all 4 kids will be home for 4 days! But that's ok cuz I'm smiling and I love them all:) SEE!

My sister put me on to this chick named Ann Lamott. She has some funny quotes out there and I saw this one and liked it...."Expectations are resentments under construction."
Anne Lamott. I have found in my life that this statement is so darn true! And one more that made me laugh and I too, have felt like this.......
"I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish."
Anne Lamott

Friday, February 5, 2010

Politically Incorrect...

Looks like I'm not the only one! Amen to what this man had to say!

Monday, January 25, 2010

A day in the life

I like having the little counter on this blog. You can see who reads it and who comes back for more! Rather interesting! Now lately I have had quite the foreign audience. Greece, Angola, Asia, Hungary, Germany, United Kingdom, Spain, Brazil, Denmark and Portugal! I'm not sure if I think that's cool or scary! Maybe they like the feisty American woman:) or maybe I was the next one to pop up when they were blog surfing! I did have a French follower for a while but I haven't seen them around for some time now. Oh speaking of blog surfing, I've been getting a lot of those lately and one of them even left a comment. I actually had it posted but then I deleted it because it irritated me. Here's why it irritated me....first of all the gal was 25 and I didn't even know her. No spouse or kids and probably not near the life experiences we've had. 2nd-Leaving a comment on someone's blog that I am not familiar with or know anything about their life experiences is definitely not something I would do. Now, I'm sure she is a great person. She's in in a bible group and a lover of poetry. (read her profile) But what irritated me the most is the fact that she had no idea about each individual situation I was even speaking of. She tried to give me advice on something she new absolutely nothing about. Completely frustrating. She compared our help to gas and groceries and the help we have rendered goes well beyond petty things. What's wrong with expecting some gratitude when you've done something nice for someone. I don't expect accolades and praises and a million thank you cards or a single thing in return but a simple thank you and the attitude of pay it that too much to ask? Jesus Christ, the savior of the world, expected gratitude when he cured the lepers. Only one of them came back to him to say thank you and he asks where the others were. So I don't think I'm out of line to expect a thank you when you have gone above and beyond what the Lord expects from you! But I appreciate your looking at my blog Susan from Toledo! But know what you're talking about BEFORE you comment on a stranger's blog next time.

So, I keep reading how marvelous running is for you. I have read it in magazines, I hear it from doctors, weight trainers, the list goes on. I know this information is correct. However, I hate running. I can ride a bike for miles, walk forever, train on the elliptical without difficulty and I love to swim but I just can't seem to be able to acquire a love for running. It hurts every thing on this body. Plus, everything bounces when I run and it's rather embarrassing. But I am determined. So I got out with my dog today, who loves to run, and she inspired me. I figure I will start small and work my way up. Today I ran about a mile and thought my chest was on fire and would explode out of my body. It may have been less than a mile but it sure felt like about 5 miles. I'll keep you posted on my progress but don't get too excited. And I promise you now, I will never desire to run a marathon :)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I tried......

NOTE TO SELF......if you're wanting to be positive, blog surfing is NOT a good idea! Some people are just way too ridiculous for me. Especially the ones that you know act like fools and they have bible verses all over their blog! Love those!

We've been having some serious tornadic winds around these Arizona parts lately. Tuesday night Charles and I were out in the front yard at 11 p.m. picking up all the recycle trash that had blown all over the yard. We had to get it picked up since the recycle truck only runs once a month and it was picking up the next day.

Have you ever been to the gym and seen one of those guys in there that has a huge beer gut but massive biceps? Ok, here's some Ashley advice, just because you have big biceps does not mean you're healthy. Besides, I'm not looking at your biceps because I can't get past your massive gut! There was a guy at the gym yesterday that was like this and he kept grunting loudly as he lifted his weights. It reminded me of the MadTV spoof where the guy is sitting at a bar talking inappropriately and everyone is staring at him and he gets pissed because they are all staring! He's calling them looky looks and asks what they are staring at. I mean, how do you not stare at someone grunting loudly as you are standing there right next to him on a treadmill? It's a little distracting to say the least.

You know, I continue to be stunned at all the people that are constantly looking for others to do for them. I look back through the years and see people that Charles and I have done big things for, as far as really helping someone. I'm not talking about doing yard work or baking some cookies for someone either. I'm talking about serious help where we have given up our resources to help another. Help that we have rendered and has involved serious sacrifice on our part. In all the circumstances when we have given of ourselves or possessions it seems as though every person has taken advantage of our willingness. Now there haven't been a ton of people but there has been a decent amount of folks that we have sacriciced for. A few circumstances have involved us helping people that claim they "just don't have the money" then the lifestyle they choose to live is contradictory to this. They'll take trips, lunches out, they'll make big purchases, etc. It really is infuriating. People that use up your resources so they can save their own, they're appalling. Then they sleep like a baby at night. I've had people stay at my home for a good length of time that have left without ever offering a thank you. We've had people take advantage of us financially. I guess I have expectations of people and think that they will do the right thing. Let me tell you though, not everyone will choose to do the right thing. Lots of people are only looking out for their best interest. It's the whole give and take mentality though. The takers will continue to be takers and vice versa. I just don't have it in me to take advantage of someone like that. If I have been that way to anyone out there reading this I sure am sorry! Now, we have had people come stay or helped others out and be very appreciative and show their gratitude. It's those people that make me want to continue doing nice things. That and also knowing that what goes around comes around! I truly believe that:) So those advantage takers will get what's theirs:)

Monday, January 18, 2010


I've been thinking lately......about lots of things! One thing in particular is where life has brought me. Despite my rantings on here, I do have a great life. I remember feeling in my twenties how life just seemed to drift by without too many obstacles. I thought it was weird to just float along like that and nothing seemed to change. But as I got older and wanted more out of life I realized how many obstacles I had to overcome. Historically speaking, I have learned most of my life's lessons through hard and difficult trials. Things I would never have dreamed of happening while floating through my early marriage years. Now that they've happened I'm grateful for the experiences and the lessons that were learned from them. Even though they weren't at all fun to experience, now, I would have to say I would do them all again. I'm not sure why it is so hard for me to grasp that we will surely face disappointment in this life so that we will learn and become what we are intended to be. Often times people think that because bad things happen it's because we have done something bad, but we need to remember this isn't always the case. Sure, when we make bad choices we will usually have to face bad consequences but not every trial is because of a bad choice. Just thinkin'........

Well, I love cheese! Charles was coming home from work one day and was listening to NPR. There was a segment on there about a cheese maker in Wisconsin who had aged some cheddar cheese for 15 years and was selling it for $50 a pound. Well, this piqued our interest. We immediately went to the computer and looked up this company. We were thinking it was going to be some big time operation but it wasn't at all. You had to email them to get a price list and then when you call she doesn't say " hello, thank you for calling Hook's cheese, how can I help you?" She just answers the phone "hello" in her Wisconsin accent! So we ordered a variety of cheeses and have been pleased with every pound! They don't have credit card capabilities so they give you your total on the back of a business card when you receive your order! The cheese is delicious and cheaper than what you would pay for fancy cheese in a grocery store! It was well worth the $75 we spent!

Another thought I've had recently, well, really just last night, was this blog of mine. I'm thinking I need to be more positive. Why do I let people's silliness bother me? I mean if someone wants others to think their life is perfection who am I to stand in the way? If you want to name your child some crazy made up name that they will have to suffer with for the rest of their life go right ahead! If you want to be an ignorant, redneck buffoon I ain't gonna stop ya. From this day forward I am going to be positive--I think! It might take me some time to get in the swing of things, so bear or bare with me! It makes me nervous:)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Mission Accomplished!

Man, my last blog posting sure did create a lot of buzz! I was able to show my white trash to a bunch of people I know and also those I don't know! Sorry about that, it comes out once in a while:( But I usually try hard to have class. I slip up once in a while though.

So has anyone checked out the show Operation Repo? Oh my gosh, if you haven't you must. It is the best show on TV. Obviously, it's about this repo company in California that goes around repossessing cars for banks. Then the "owners" of these cars get so irate that they are having their cars taken away. I don't get how you can stand there and cuss someone out when you know dang good and well that you haven't been paying your bill! I'm sure they only show a fraction of what they come across and just put the most ridiculous cases on TV. It is quite shocking. And it is addicting. Charles and I will stay up all hours watching it. They're having a marathon of it next Monday and we're pretty excited about it. It's on TruTv for those interested:)

So yesterday, I hit my 40 pound weight loss mark! I'm pretty stoked about it! About 18 months ago I bought a pair of size 10 jeans I found on clearance for $3. I was determined I would one day fit into them. Well I tried them on the other day and was able to at least pull them completely up and get them buttoned standing up. Now zipping them was a different story. I had to lie down to get the zipper up! But hey, I got 'em on and that's what counts! 5 years ago I wouldn't have been able to get my right foot in a pair of 10's. I know some people are reading this thinking a size 10 ain't that small, but when you were once busting out of a 24 it's pretty dang tiny! So I'm pretty proud that I was able to pull them over my trunk! Charles also hit is goal weight. We're both feeling good about not being so chubby anymore:) That's all the bragging I have for now!

This whole facebook thing became amazing to me yesterday. Most of the people on my friends list are people that I have known for the last 5-10 years and some family members. I have a handful of people from high school but there just aren't that many people I knew so long ago that I care to be facebook friends with! However, an old childhood friend found my siblings and me yesterday! It was so exciting! He and his brothers are some of the fondest memories my siblings and I have from our childhood. I just had to share that. I was rambling on and on about it yesterday to Charles and he was ready for me to shut up about it but I was just so dang excited:)

So is it bad when you let your kid watch like 12 hours of cartoons in a day? Cody stayed home from school today and I have felt like crap for 3 days. We played about 3 games of Uno Attack and I finally had to get our living quarters in some form of order and other than that we've done nothing but watch cartoons. I have 5-6 loads of laundry that need to be folded and I am dreading that. It's all stacked at the foot of my bed waiting for me to tackle it. So I guess I should stop blogging, huh?!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Wanna know....

what I love? Well, I'll tell you! High heels, makeup, banana bread with lots of chocolate chips, blue cheese and I love love love when a mean person tries to get you down and you unexpectedly end up getting the best of him! You know you've gotten the best of him because he continues to try and say things that bother you and you just don't really care about his white trash tactics! It's my brother David again! He's a lot like my mother in the way that he loves to get trouble started. He likes to badger me about my religion and it ALWAYS ends up being quite comical because he's a huge redneck and is very misinformed and the information that he comes up with is always completely inaccurate. His latest info had something to do with mormons and rectums. Now my brother has had a super weird obsession with other people's buttholes for as long as I can remember. I can't quite find the correlation between his obsession and his latest crazy remark! Then he seems to be fascinated with the "mormon panties." He even went as far to say that he would like a pair if he could find them in a thong style! NOW I think I've heard it all! Thong style "mormon panties." I'm sure all my LDS peeps reading this are thinking what the? I told you... I hail from a dysfunctional family! The really funny thing about him expressing an interest in thongs is the fact that there ain't one adult at his house that could slip into thongs and look remotely decent! WOW! That's definitely an image I don't need this morning! Consider me the Taylor Swift of the blog world! When someone irritates her she writes a #1 song about it! When someone irritates me I write about it on my blog! Now if only I was as cute, lovable and rich as her! Now enough about white trash, bumpkin, overweight rednecks that have to pay $200 for someone to install a screen door for him!
Man, I was gonna try hard to be nice this year! Some people make it so hard! There's always tomorrow though.

Check out what my delicious husband made last night! A big, round loaf of cheesy foccacia bread!

You know Rachel Ray says there's nothing sexier than a man in the kitchen and I have to agree with her. My little Charles is really the jack of all trades. From dirt bike mechanic to the little baker boy, he can do it all! Plus he's so nice and makes up for the class that I sometimes lack:)

Well, I had debated taking my blog private but there's way too many email addresses to compile and it makes me want to twirl me head off my shoulders when I think of the hassle it would be. Soooo, I'm just gonna keep it open and let it be the death of my brother and his wife! They are always talking about my life when Davey gets so angry and since I haven't talked to him since I foxed his balls in October of 2008 the only way I assume he gets info about me is through reading my blog! I guess he loves to hate me! I mean, I'm not the most politically correct person, I speak my mind and I am far from a fu fu girl but I do think people enjoy reading what I write about! I say out loud what others think and it's like a car wreck, as bad as it may be you just can't look away! So if it bugs ya, STOP READING it! But I guess some people have a hard time prying their fat ass away from the computer!

Sunday, January 10, 2010


It seems as though my blog postings seem to strike a nerve with some people. If you are looking for politically correct you will not find it here. I use my blog as a sounding board about things I would not discuss any ole' where! I have found that most people that come across it enjoy reading it and will tell me so. I know that I have a lot of faithful readers and I'm glad I can contribute to some laughs here and there. However, I will acknowledge that I have written some things that may have been offensive to some readers. To the innocent that I have offended I say I am sorry. Things sometimes bug me and I write about it. For those that read my writings often or know me well should know this about me.

I hail from an extremely dysfunctional family and have worked hard my entire adult life to overcome my raising. I am very blessed to have married a man who was taught values and was raised to be a real man who would never do some of the things I have seen men in my family do and say. I am thankful he teaches our 4 sons how to be men and respect women, children and follow in the ways of our Lord. I too, learn from him every day. Coming from where I came it is sometimes hard to break a certain cycle and I have Charles' example to look to. It is so sad when I see people in my extended family(my siblings) say horrible things and enjoy when terrible things happen to others in my family. I have family members who LOVE seeing trouble get started and this is why I have chosen to distance myself and our kids from these toxic people. One thing I do have to be grateful to my family for is what not to repeat and also for the relationship I have with my sister. Next to my spouse she has been my best friend my entire life. I love her and her kids dearly. I've probably said more than I needed to but in my true nature I like to get things all out:) I have certain family members that read my blog recently and rushed to get some poo poo started with other family members. With that being said I am debating on going private next week so if you would like to continue reading my blog send me your email address and I will send you an invite to be able to continue reading! I will warn that I will continue to write about things that irritate me and will not write to make others think my life is perfect. You won't see pictures of me baking cookies with my kids but you will hear me gripe about them from time to time. Just know that I still love them more than words can say! We are a close family and love spending time together, so keep that in mind as you read my RANTS! It ain't titled rantings of a mad woman for nothin'! Now the only thing you will find me bragging about is the weight I have lost and will continue to lose. I've been a big mama my entire adult life so finally getting to a decent size is something to brag about for me! Sorry if it bugs ya!

Sorry to get so personal in this posting. Those it is meant for will know who they are!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Hello again

Can someone tell me why everyone seems so pissed that Alabama won the championships? I mean come on, the Tide won that game fair and square. It makes me mad when I see fellow Alabamians getting pissed that an SEC team won that dang game! I have heard everything from "oh if Colt hadn't got injured Texas would have taken them." No Bama won. Then there's my brother who was a Tide fan all of his life until he went down to Auburn a few times to get high and now he claims to hate Alabama and says he always has. I can't stand that. I've been married to Charles for nearly 15 years and he has always rooted for Auburn and I have always been for Bama. It's ok to continue to root for who you've always rooted for even when your loved ones go the opposite. I still love Charles and think he's the greatest thing since Reese's cups even though he cheers for Auburn! I'm want to see Auburn win too just not when they are playing against Alabama. Please people don't hate us cause we're the national champs! Not to mention the Heisman Trophy winner is on our team! The damn team has to have some kind of skill to get to where they got.

We had a great Christmas! We got dirt bikes and a go cart for the kids and it seems that every time they get on the damn things they tear something up on them. Charles has spent more time repairing them than they have been ridden! As a matter of fact Charles took them out to the trails today and Ryan ran the go cart into a tree! I haven't gotten the full scoop from Charles yet but I'm sure he isn't happy!

I must clarify some things about my last post. I got a comment that made me feel bad and I realized there may have been some misunderstanding. I realize there are a lot of people out there that don't give compliments because they just don't notice things. As a matter of fact I am married to someone that doesn't dole out compliments easily. He didn't hear a lot of them growing up and he has spent our entire marriage working on this. Thanks to me, he's improved greatly! The people that frustrate me are the ones that do notice things and go as far to point them out and then say something rude instead of saying something nice. I know and have known people like this my entire life and I just get tired of it. There was a girl I knew in Tennessee that every time someone gave me a compliment she would come back with a subtle, negative remark. It would fire me up and then I just realized she had serious insecurities. There are still people that do this to me but now that I'm in my 30's and have gained enough confidence it doesn't bother me at all. Enough about that though!

I must give a little plug to Charles because he has managed to lose nearly 30 pounds in a short period of time. He does bug me a little because he has to put forth a lot less effort than me and still loses a lot more. He does look dang good though:) He also managed to lose through the holidays so I must give a shout out to him!