I LOVE BABY DILL PICKLES

Today in our combined RS/Priesthood meeting I got all the parenting answers I needed. A lady from LDS social services came and spoke during the meeting. She had good advice to share and it really made me think. We have all these people in our lives that will do things that hurt us or make us mad. All we can do is control how we react. It is so hard to handle people with love after they have wronged us but this is what we are required to do. She said one of the worst things we can do is criticize and one of the best things we can do is listen and try to understand where another person is coming from. It is so overwhelming to hear stuff like this sometimes because it reminds me of all the things I need to do to be better. I'll just add that to all the other stuff I need to overcome! It was very insightful and I was glad I was able to hear her lesson. It was good insight for raising kids and building a better marriage and relationships in general.

This was my last Sunday to attend church without help! Charlie had his bishop's interview and he'll be ordained next Sunday! I can't believe he'll be old enough to pass the sacrement. He's a good kid and will hopefully be a good teenager! I'm sure he will be.

I made 5 1/2 dozen pumpkin spice cookies tonight, with icing! They were delicious. It was the last thing I needed to do though. I have missed the gym for the last 2 weeks and I get back into my routine tomorrow. I'm dreading it a little but I know it makes me feel so much better. I'm not a huge fan of working out. I've been doing it 5-6 days a week for the last 3 1/2 years and I thought by now I would love it. The love for it still hasn't come. It is so hard to go back after I have skipped out for a while. Tomorrow is the day though:) Here I go!

WHY.....

...do my kids fight all the time? Am I the only one whose kids fight incessantly? Ryan is constantly telling Charlie how fat he is and what a huge nerd Josh is. Charlie tells Ryan how he acts like a girl and tells Josh what a big baby he is. Cody likes to tell all of them how gay they are. It NEVER stops.Whenever I ask if they want to do something fun, or what I would consider fun, they never want to do it. My older kids are at the age where they would rather spend time with their friends and it makes the little ones want to do the same. They want to do whatever the big ones do and think how they think. It makes me nuts. Even the way they dress... the younger ones see the things that Charlie wants to wear and they want to do the same thing. I mean a 5 year old should not give a dang what he puts on, but Cody does. He can't wear anything that's not "cool". He can't wear gay, long sleeve shirts or stupid pants that aren't cool jeans. It makes me want to bip Charlie in the head when the younger ones act this way. As I type Josh and Cody are fighting over a quarter that was found in a basket. Cody got to it first but Josh got it after Cody put it down. Josh told Cody "finders keepers, losers weepers." Cody is pretty upset about that. Ryan had to do chores all day for calling Charlie names. I figure if he's gonna take up a lot of my time solving the issues he's creating, he can pay me back with his time. Today while Ryan had the dust spray out for dusting Charlie got the bright idea that he would spray a spot on the hardwood floors with the spray. He wanted to make it slippery for whoever walked on it! Well the good fairy has gotten him several times today. He has slipped on that spot more than anyone else in the house today!! Hilarious!! That's what he gets for making me put up with the bickering that goes on here all the dang time!

I thought it would be fun to bake with the kids today but none of them wanted to join in on the fun. They want to partake in the finished product but not help with it. I was all ready to make pumpkin chocolate chip bread today when I realized all the chocolate chips had been sucked down but not one person in the house was to blame. Hmm....interesting. They were all but gone and not one kid confessed to eating them. So, needless to say there is no pumpkin chocolate chip bread. Believe it or not I do love the holidays. I'm just always really glad when they are over!!! I know, I know I sound like the most miserable person. I swear I'm a happy girl, it's just all these mishaps in life get me discouraged at times :)

It's exercise and sunshine that I need. I have taken 2 weeks off at the gym and I need to get back. The break has been nice but I feel like a chubby slob. Come Monday morning I'll be there! I also got new dishes yesterday and I need to open them and look at them so I can get excited. Nothing says happiness like retail therapy! Just kidding...I guess...there are other things in life that make me happier than shopping, i.e.-kids :-|, husband, ooey gooeys. Shopping is up there though!

Oh, by the way, Alabama beat Auburn today! ROLL TIDE! Charles wanted Auburn to win and I'm a BAMA fan! :) We won.

Black Friday

Good heavens! Ok-I have never been shopping the day after Thanksgiving and thought how bad could it really be! Well, it was pretty bad. They had a few things at Wal*Mart that I wanted to get and had no idea the chaos I was about to step into. I walk in and head straight back to the electronic department to look for the portable dvd players. Apparently I wasn't the only one that wanted one of these at $49. There was a ton of people standing around the pallet waiting for the employee to slash open the plastic wrap that contained these suckers! Well once the plastic was off people were going nuts! I stood there in absolute astonishment! I never moved closer to the pallet. I was scared for the employee. She couldn't get out of the mob of people and was screaming for the police! It was the craziest thing I have ever seen. However, I did get the dvd player! The lady standing in front of me was somehow able to get 2 of them and handed me one. I also got the case to go with!I never even saw the pallet to see how many it contained or how fast they ran out. I walked away as soon as I had my hands on one. It was worth it to do it at least once...I guess. Won't be doing it again though! I'm sick of shopping already. It is nice to be mostly done.
After I got home from shopping I read on fox news about a Wal*Mart employee in New York that was trampled to death by shoppers looking for a good deal. Can you imagine? I mean there is nothing that's that great of deal, for heaven's sake!

We had a great Thanksgiving! All I had to make was a Sara Lee dutch apple pie! No other cooking went on at my house. Golden Corral made everything else. They have been my Ogden Thanksgiving tradition. I can't get too used to it now that Charles is home and we will celebrate the holidays like normal people again! Darn it. Glad he's home though:) Well... not actually home but in the United States at least. He'll be here on Friday! We have a fun filled December planned.

We also went to the movies to see Bolt, after our feast. It was a good movie and the kids enjoyed it as much as I did. Charlie liked the fat, little hamster as well as I did! It was cute. It's been a while since we've been to the movies. That is an expensive past time, especially when you have 6 people to pay for. I guess anything is expensive when you have a big family! Grateful to have them though!

Fart Blossoms

Who knows? I am bugged tonight. Trisha and I were on our way back from our class when this big, monstrous truck towing a HUGE trailer with 2 four wheelers cut us off. He came rushing up in a lane that was about to run out. He had his blinker on but since he had his huge trailer we couldn't let him in without having to completely stop our car so we kept going. He dang near hit us with that trailer so I told Trisha to speed up so I could flip him off. So...she did! And I flipped him off. Normally I don't do this but I just said "Hey Trisha...Look... a deer!" And up went the universal sign of you know what! It did help us to both feel a little better. Then the guy has this attitude like we were just supposed to put up with his crap and I just don't have tolerance for that attitude lately. Dadgummit! A few other words come to my mind also.

Anyhow, we were both up a pound tonight. :-| I was actually quite surprised it was only a pound for me. I ate everything I wanted to when I was on vacation! We celebrated our 1 pound gain with a cheeseburger and shake from Kirt's! Trisha even got fries! We're winners. We seriously are in the lead of everyone else so hopefully we get that money!

So I took the kids bowling today. They have fought all day long. After bowling we went to the iFly place to watch some of the flyers. That was pretty darn neat. Apparently the guys we watched are pros. iFly is a skydiving place. You get in the little flight suit and there is a giant wind gust that sweeps you up as if you were really skydiving. It was a good time. Anyway...tomorow is Thanksgiving and I do have a ton to be thankful for. First and foremost I'm thankful I ain't cooking tomorrow! :) Seriously though, I'm grateful for my life, even all the crap I have deal with. The crap reminds me of the good and there is a lot of good.

Oh yeah, one thing I was really excited about today....I had gotten these super cute red, snakeskin heels while I was on vacation and I bought them without trying them on and when I finally did try them on they were a little too small. I asked Charles to bring them back to Birmingham with him and see if they had a half size bigger. He called when he was at the store and told me they didn't have the size I needed and I just told him to keep the ones I already had and I would just pretend to be Cinderella's stepsister when I wore them. He called back about 5 minutes later and said he found my size! I was happy! Still am! See...I have a lot to be grateful for!

Hmmm.....

I can't seem to get back into my routine. I had a lot of business stuff to take care of today and it took up a lot of my morning. We were finally able to get our insurance claim settled and got a check for our car. Now we have to decide if we want another car. We leave for Arizona in the spring and hopefully we'll be able to live on post and save some money. If we do that then Charles can bike to work. I guess we'll see. A second car does come in handy and it's been a long time since we've been a one car family!

So... Thanksgiving is Thursday and Charles gets to spend it in Birmingham while we are all here! It's hard for him to be in the United States and not able to be here with us yet. In fact, it downright sucks. We only have 9 days to go after this night is over and then he'll be here for an entire month. We have tons planned and I can't wait! It'll be like a vacation since he hasn't been able to spend a lot of time here. Christmas will be super fun this year too! I am looking forward to getting settled in Arizona and back into my life. I have thoroughly enjoyed living here this year but I'm very ready to get settled back into my marriage and be a real family again.

Have you ever had an experience where someone has done something really horrible and then they try to turn the situation around to make themselves look like a victim and you're standing there wondering what the heck just happened? Well...I actually know quite a few people like this. I do not understand this personality but I think it may be called a sociopath or something like that. I'm not sure what it is about me that attracts people like this to me but obviously there is something these people can sniff out! I have to come to a point in my life where I can know they are not the victims and they are trying to place the blame elsewhere. I haven't always been this way though. I used to let them get to my mind and think I was somehow to blame for their misdeeds. No more though. I guess when you deal with it enough you come to learn through experience. Just some thoughts :)

Why is it when you leave your kids behind for a few days you miss them like crazy only to return and wish you had spent more time enjoying being away from them? This is where I am right now! I think my kids only fight when I'm around. I think they only enjoy making ME nuts! In fact, I KNOW this! I love those boys! Hurry home Babe!

God Bless America

I just arrived home after being gone for 9 days. It is so good to be home. I completely forgot about life for a while and enjoyed my time away! Thanks Matt and Jade and also a HUGE thanks to the Budge's for helping out! I got to Birmingham on the 14th and hung out with my sister and her kids until the 18th. I headed up to Tennessee that day and Charles arrived at around 12:45 a.m. Wednesday morning. It was so exciting! I cannot believe this deployment is over. I did not want to leave him today but we have another homecoming to look forward to when he gets home on the 5th. We did absolutely nothing but spend time together while I was there. We got to stay in a little 2 bedroom apartment in a complex that a friend of ours owns. He owed us a favor and let us stay there free of charge! It was a huge blessing and saved us some cash! It had a kitchen and washer and dryer and everything we needed. Well most everything! We could have used some measuring cups, a cutting board and a vacuum to name a few things!

Everybody survived the 9 days without me except for our little Ford Taurus! It got totaled the day after I left. Some teenager smashed into the car while everyone was headed to a pool party! Nobody was hurt thankfully and the other insurance company did take full responsibility. Poor Cody scrubbed a tattoo off of his face and took about 12 layers of skin with it. Other than those 2 minor details everything went great back in Ogden while I was gone! :) I'm pretty sure Matt and Jade were the most excited for me to be back! They weren't sure how I do it day to day but I have super powers and cat like reflexes! It is so good to be home with my kids. I am so thankful for all the experiences I have had and more than anything I am grateful this was our last deployment. I'm thankful for what I've learned and the things I have been able to accomplish. I am so glad Charles is home.

For those of you that would like to see pictures of the homecoming ceremony you can click through the link from the other blog that I am a member of. Go to my eblogger profile page and it's on there! Does that make sense?

I'm Frankful...

My day was filled to the brim! First and foremost I had to go tanning! I didn't make it to the gym because I had to wait till 9 to schedule Josh an appointment and the clinic didn't open till then. By the time I had waited till 9, I had to wait for Cody to get out of school since today is early day. I hate early days. This happens every Wednesday. So I got Cody then checked Josh out of school to get him to the doc by 11:10. Josh has had a sore on his head and then I noticed he had a lump below the sore. When I noticed this I was panicked. I had called Monday to get an appointment but they were all booked up and couldn't bring him in yesterday since it was veteran's day and our clinic is on a military base. So today was the day I was able to put an end to all my worrying. He has ringworm on his head, it's not a cancerous tumor like I was thinking! But ringworm, good heavens! The lump was a lymph node that is working hard to get rid of the crap from the ringworm. So...other than him having ringworm he's all healthy. Thank heavens. I seriously was thankful for the diagnosis.

I had to go to parent teacher conferences starting at 2. I got to listen to all my kids' teachers tell me how wonderful and smart all my kids are! Seriously though, I am glad my kids catch on quick since I hate homework. They have all been good readers and good at figuring things out. It is very hard for me when a kid is slow to catch on. I have volunteered in the class room a time or two and there are kids that just do not get it and it is very hard to try to get it into their brain. I could NEVER be a teacher.

Trisha and I are the only ones that showed up to the weight loss class this week. I lost almost 5 and Trisha lost almost 7 pounds! Only 40 more to go for me! Almost there!

I'm down to the wire before I leave and I still have a ton of stuff to do. I didn't think it would get all piled up on me like this. I should have put my shoulder to the wheel earlier in the week. I started my packing tonight and it seems surreal that I'm leaving in less than 2 days. I really will miss my kids and I'm a little nervous about being away from them for so long. I won't know what to do with myself not having to run around for them for a few days. As enticing as it sounds to leave, the fact is, they are my life pretty much. What do you do when you're away from your life for 9 days? I mean don't get me wrong, I do have an identity outside of being a wife and mother but I see them everyday and they are the largest part of my life. *sniff, sniff* I'm sure I'll find something to fill up my time. (especially when Charles gets home!)

I also had to get my recommend renewed tonight. I sat and talked with a lady who had recently gotten remarried. She had been widowed 2 years ago. She had been married to her first husband for 26 years and he died suddenly of a heart attack. It was such a sad story. She told me how they married at 19 and had 3 sons together. It made me think of Charles and me. We got married when I was 18 and he was 19. I couldn't imagine losing him at such an early age after thinking for all those years we would grow old together. I'm so glad we got married as young as we did. It hasn't been easy but it has been so worth it. I'll only be 38 when we send our oldest out on his mission!! How nice!

Little Cody gave our family prayer tonight and he always tells what all he's "frankful" for. It is so cute! It's times like that that make all the frustrating things they do easier to deal with. The frustrating things like Ryan holding Josh's legs over his head until Josh was bawling! Or Cody coloring on Ryan's nightstand table, that I finished a few months ago, with a hot pink sharpie marker. Yeah, not so frustrating when he's telling the Lord how "frankful" he is! I love those kids.

Happy Veteran's Day!

I've been a military wife my entire marriage and couldn't be more proud of my husband's profession. Yes, it's been hard at times and we miss him like crazy when he's gone. But I am so proud of the service he gives to this country. Today I was out running errands and drove down West Harrisville Road and flags were lining the street. I was so proud to be an American! I am so grateful to live in this country and for the sacrifices of all veterans AND their families. Yes, the families sacrifice too. Thanks Babe for your service! I wish I knew how to post pictures on here cuz I would post some sexy picture of you decked out in your army attire. :) Oh well... I know how good you look in that uniform and that's all that matters.

I leave in 3 days and am so excited! Still have no idea when my husband should arrive. Let's just hope and pray it's before the 23rd. That is one thing about military life I do not enjoy, last minute plans and stuff never working out the way it is supposed to. All you can do is hope things will go the way they tell you it will go. Obviously, right now things aren't going for us the way they said. What can you do though? Not a dang thing!

So there I am in kickboxing class today and the teacher is super fit and had us doing all sorts of crazy, bouncing exercises. Now, I hate bouncing around. It is just something I do not do. EVERYTHING bounces and this is what I do not like. I had to leave class 10 minutes early since she wanted us to bounce way more than I was comfortable with. Our weigh in is tomorrow and I have a dang good feeling Trisha and I are going to be the winners of that challenge. I just feel it! We're gonna get our money back! Mark my word folks.

Does anyone, besides Charles and me, feel like this week is the slowest week of their life? Trisha and Matt, what about y'all? :) 3 more days, of course that's only till I leave, who knows when I will see my lover.

What else?

Life feels crazy lately. It seems strange to me that here I am at the end of the 2nd longest year of my life and it seems to be crawling by. It seems like things keep happening and I feel like I can't take one more piece of bad news.

Getting kids out the door today was insane. The little ones like to take their time and it gets the older ones so ticked off because it doesn't leave them enough goof off time before school starts. Charlie and Ryan got to leave without the younger ones today though. Then, it came, my most favorite time of the day! I LOVE when all of my kids walk out the door in the morning. I love the silence for a minute. I looked down to Dixie and see a big glob of toothpaste smeared in her fur by her ear!! Poor dog. Cody loves tormenting her and she is scared to death of him. She thinks of him as her chew toy but gets scared when she sees that he has something in his hands. She doesn't feel so safe with Cody. Rightfully so, there was one time he put a rubber band around her ankle and it caused her circulation to be cut off. I had no idea what was going on so I took her to the vet after the sore wouldn't heal. The vet shaves the fur from around that part of her leg and brings in a tiny rubber band. I could tell by the "oh yeah I forgot about that" look on Cody's face he had done this and forgot to take it off. The poor dog had to wear a huge "e" collar and was on antibiotics for a week. She won't come near anyone if he is near. Cody loves to play with her though and at times she loves to play with him. I don't know what it is, but for some reason, lately my kids have been giving me a run for my money. I'm still thankful I get to leave on Friday and turn my life over to someone else. As I sit here and type this out, Charlie is farting with the lights, turning them on and off. I can't seem to ever have a minute that isn't filled with something to do. I guess that's life though, huh?

So, Thanksgiving is right around corner!! I have to admit, I am a party pooper when my husband isn't around. I don't enjoy the holidays so much when he isn't with us. So this year we are doing exactly what we did last year.... going to Golden Corral for dinner and something fun afterwards. I haven't decided yet what we'll do for the fun part. For some reason, I feel like the biggest piece of white trash when I go to Golden Corral. My kids are absolutely thrilled to be going though. They LOVE that place. The idea of getting to eat whatever the heck you want thrills them to death! Matt and Jade are going with us again this year. I have to say, it was the cheapest Thanksgiving dinner ever and no clean up and no leftovers. Not bad!

Still no definite date as to when my husband might be arriving. A little frustrating to say the least. All I know is it's supposed to be within the week. We were told it would be Saturday but it's not looking like that will be the case. I guess since I've done 2 years of this I can do another week! These last few days are crawling by though. I have a lot to do this week to keep me busy. Parent/teacher conferences, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, hair appointments, enrichment meeting, weight loss class and reccommend interview, oh.. and a presidency meeting! Plus packing and getting crap ready for Matt and Jade to take over. Can't wait for the break.

Why...

do I go to church again? I understand when you have little ones that church might be a little miserable. BUT...when you have kids as old as mine are you should be able to look back on those days with a big grin and thank the good Lord they are over. Well... today, my big, grown children reminded me of what those days were like. There we are, in the middle of the opening prayer, when Charlie and Ryan, yes you read that correctly, start pinching each other and acting up. It was ridiculous. Once the prayer was over I made Charlie walk around the back of the chapel so he could sit on the opposite end of the bench. The 5 of us took up an entire long bench so everyone could be separated. Charlie was so mad at me for making him do this. But here's my question...do kids really think that we enjoy doing things like having to separate your well old enough to know better sons during a church meeting? I mean, it wouldn't look any sillier if I was sitting there with my husband acting like that. That's the thing kids don't understand. When you are that dang old it looks so ridiculous to sit and act like that. I did get a chuckle when I looked down the bench at Charlie all slumped over trying to act mad at me.

I need to have more of a positive attitude about life. This is hard for me sometimes. I got an email from my husband this morning telling me he might not leave on the date we have anticipated all along. Now here we have these plane tickets and it's too late to change them. Even if we did change them we would have no idea what date to change them to. It is all so very frustrating and the most maddening part of it all is there isn't a dang thing I can do about it. So why do I even need to worry with something I have no control over? I can still go and enjoy the hell out of my sister, right? Yes this is right! I guess at this point I can pray that the Lord will help things to work out. I guess we will see but I need to keep a positive attitude and be thankful I didn't have to live Emma's life :)

Speaking of Emma, we talked about her and Joseph in RS today. The teacher spoke of building family relationships. Well of course this made me think of a few posts back when I completely put my brother and his sweet wife in their place. I know, I know... this was probably not the sweetest way to go about this. That was probably not what they were speaking of when telling us to build strong family ties! I'm not perfect by any means but good heavens folks...I was at my wits end and his wife was making me mad. :| Excuses, excuses. Just give me a minute.

I don't think I can handle one more thing during the rest of this deployment. I feel like it has been one thing after the next and I just really want Charles to come home when they told me he would. I am so thankful I have an end to this year. I am blessed that my kids have been healthy and safe and fairly easy to deal with. It is almost over and I can look back and know that this has all been temporary. That's the fabulous thing about trials....they are only temporary. Then we will be able to look back and say I'm thankful for what I've learned but I'm glad as hell it's all over. It WILL work out.

Saturday Night Fever

Today was a nutty day! Leaves are everywhere and my boys were in charge of raking them up. They were supposed to do it yesterday after school but Charlie talked me into letting him go to a friends's house instead of doing the yard. I told him that if I let him do this he was going to have to do the leaves today with no complaining. Well he got the leaves done but not without the complaining. Ryan got to go with Uncle Matt to the rock climbing wall today. For some reason all of my boys think that if one of them gets to do something special and fun then they all need to get to do something special and fun. Matt is taking the kids one at a time to spend time with them. Every time he takes one of them the others get a little sulky even though they know their time is coming. Charlie also got to go and do something on his own without anyone tagging along. Aunt Jade took him to a farm where he got to help kill chickens and prepare them for eating!! They got some of the nastiest pictures ever. I have never seen so much blood. Apparently chickens really do run around after their heads have been cut off! He loved watching it but I don't know that he'll be eating chicken for a while. He was amazed at how they look like "real" chickens once they had no feathers or a head! He was referring to the way they look in the grocery store!! We're city folk :)

I had to make 2 trips to Wal*Mart today. Again, I hate doing this with children. I get the same outcome every single time. I don't know why I think it may be different but that is what they call crazy. When you do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. This is me! But how do you escape this when you're a mother? Oh but I did get 2 jackets I had been eyeballing and they had been marked down to clearance. I was excited!

I have gotten my wardrobe for when my husband arrives!! I am so freakin' excited I can't stand it. I like to have a reason to get new clothes and having a husband coming home soon is a great excuse. Only 6 more days till I leave. I have a lot to do this week. Hair, nails, tanning, packing cleaning, ooh I can't wait! I was feeling a little guilty at first about the kids not getting to come with me. But now...I am so glad they aren't coming. They have been driving me insane lately and I am so looking forward to a break. I don't feel bad for saying that either. Good gosh!

So tomorrow is Sunday and I can't seem to get excited about this new calling. Normally I get pumped and motivated when I receive a new church calling but I'm just not there with this one. I was hoping for a break the entire time I was here in Utah. I was thinking there was an age requirement to be in the RS presidency in the state of Utah!! Guess not. I guess one good thing is I know it will only be for a short while.

It's gonna be a long week.

So I've been thinking.....

about life. I talked to a friend of mine yesterday. She's in the same boat as me. I knew her in Tennessee and her husband is deployed too. She also moved the heck out of Clarksville. Anyway, she was telling me about another family we knew that got out of the army and moved west. She told me they bought a big home in some trendy neighborhood. Ok, this is fine. But...she also told me the wife had to get a full time job during the day and does nails at night to be able to afford this home. Now....why would you do this? Especially when you've been a stay at home mother for so long. I mean, I get wanting to work because your kids make you nuts. I would love to do this but I never would. My kids are too important for me to do this. I also understand that there are so many women out there that would love to stay home but because of circumstances they HAVE to go and work to support their kids. So it made me think how Charles and I have been married for almost 14 years and we STILL live payday to payday. Well, I have found my answer. I think you will have in life what is the most important to you. I think if you want the big house and all the stuff your neighbors have that is exactly what you will get. You will give up everything you need to to attain this. If you want a strong family and to be able to teach your kids good values on your own then this is what you will have. You will give up everything you need to to be able to have this. You will give up the big home and the job that keeps you away from your family. So I learned yesterday that I am glad we STILL live payday to payday. I'm glad I get to see my kids everyday and be a big part of their lives. I'm glad I get to see Charles a lot, when he is actually in the country, of course. I can't wait for him to get home and to be able to eat lunch with him everyday while our kids are at school. I can't wait for the 4 day holidays we'll get to be able to spend together when he is finally home. I'm glad we've been able to make that sacrifice and have a good marriage and good kids because of it. It's not so bad being poor and living in a tiny house! Now, I know there are women out there that have to work and have no other choice. I think their kids will see this and know what good women their moms are for sticking around and making sure they always provide everything they need!

Tonight I got some energy and started cleaning my house. It's been a CrAzY mess since I've been sick and you know there isn't anyone that lives here that's going to chip in and help out without being asked. I haven't even bothered asking either. That takes more energy than cleaning. It was nice to get some things done that were long overdue.

Today was a crazy day. Charlie had a field trip after school. They went to fat cats and then we had to be at the church at 445. Of course nothing at fat cats was organized and we spent the first 30 minutes trying to figure out what the heck was going on. Charlie didn't want to get in there and find anything out until I had to get frustrated and then he tells me I'm stressing him out. Ok-here I am with 4 kids kids at fats cats and he's the one getting stressed. What's wrong with this? He was able to get about 30 minutes of bowling and a slice of pizza in before we had to get out of there. And can I just say I am so happy that I have 4 boys instead of 4 girls. I wanted to bite my fist being around so many 6th grade girls today! I wouldn't have been able to get everything done with the field trip and the youth trip had it not been for Trisha loading all of her kids plus her day care kids up and getting Charlie's church clothes ready and bringing them to us at the church! Thanks Trisha, my hero for this day! See I have good folks in my life. Not all of them want to steal my money!

So, I'm very glad the night has come to an end and kids are in the bed. I have only one more week until Matt and Jade get to take over my life. I can't wait! I hope they enjoy it as much as I do. I am so excited to see Charles next week. I can't believe it's getting here so fast. I'm sure next week will crawl by. I'm also excited to see my sister and her kids! I'm what I like to call sanc happy!! I'm sure there will be lots of questions about that one! Charles and Ericka will both know what that is :)

Oh yeah, I also found out I have a gas leak in my house. Thanks Matt B. for finding this for me. Isn't is ALWAYS something. I guess I can thank my Lord that none of us have died from carbon monoxide. Only one more week and I get to pass my worries onto someone else.

I have a secret....

A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass."

"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?

"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

This joke cracked me right up! I can see my Cody doing something like this. My secret is...I say swear words! :-| I figure it's this or beat my kids so I choose the cursing. It helps with frustration. My husband absolutely hates that I do this and I know I need to work on this vice. One thing at a time though. I can't give everything up at once and right now the cursing will have to stick around for at least another week. A Relief Society 2nd counselor that says swear words...oops! I do need to stop this! There are worse things, right?

Speaking of RS, we had leadership training tonight. So, I had to make dinner at 3:30 so the kids would be able to eat before we left. I also had to rush to my weigh in so I wouldn't have to pay $5 for not showing up. Trisha and I only went to weigh and didn't stay for her boring class to listen to her read all the information word for word straight from the pages. I did lose 5 pounds though!! So... I ended up bringing the kids to my RS meeting. I feel like they get left alone quite a bit. So I loaded them all up and brought them along. They played basketball in the gym and Cody kept wandering into the room I was in so he could get rolls for everyone! They did good. They're good boys. I know they bug me a lot and I write about them bugging me a lot but I do love them. Charlie made honor roll and they are taking all the kids in the 6th grade who got A's or A's and B's to fat cats tomorrow. He made the list. Only problem is, he's supposed to go to Salt Lake City tomorrow with the YM for some youth trip thing. We'll squeeze in both but he just won't be able to stay very long at fat cats. It's pretty important he makes it to SLC. Ryan can't wait to get into YM. He is so ready to be done with cub scouts. Secretly...I'm ready for cubs to be done too but I have 2 more boys to get through so I have no end in sight anytime soon. I will have a small break after Ryan's birthday this year. Josh won't start until August!

It's freezing cold here and it's supposed to stay that way all week. I'm not a huge fan of chilly weather. I don't enjoy shivering to the bone. Charles is the complete opposite. He HATES being hot more than I hate being cold. He thinks you can layer up for cold weather but there is only so much you can take off in hot weather. I'd like to see him take it all off! Next week, babe!! 55 weeks down and only 1 to go! We got it licked......

I gave up

Yep, I finally did! I went to the doctor to get an antibiotic for this dang sinus infection. It's been lingering around for a week and I just couldn't get rid of it on my own. I suck! I feel much better though after just the first round of meds! The breaking point was waking up this morning at 4 a.m. with my teeth and face in complete pain. I haven't been able to do much other than sleep when the kids are at school. I haven't gotten a single thing done in I don't even remember how long. So....I said..... I need drugs! And...I got me some! Love 'em. Hopefully I can sleep tonight.

Have you ever noticed how kids seem to be the most annoying when you just are not in the mood? Well I am noticing it right now as Cody and Josh are going crazy in my living room. Getting Dixie all riled up and just annoying the crap right out of me. I wanna be in one of Kenny Chesney's songs right about now. Or...the last chocolate ghost cake might work as well. Dadgum, I need a minute.

So...I'm a little nervous about this presidential election going on right now. I have to admit, Obama scares the crap out of me. I'm not understanding some of his ideas. He keeps talking about spreading the wealth and paying more taxes so we can spread the wealth to all those folks that don't feel like working. Now... I'm from the south, and there is an abundance of African Amercicans and I have yet to see any of these people wearing a John McCain t-shirt or holding one of his signs. Typically, in the south, these are the people that are living off of the working citizens. It angers me some. I'm not a racist, don't get me wrong. I just believe that everyone should work for what they have because it raises your self worth when you earn what you have. I had to vote for McCain so that I can be sure my husband will still have a job in 4 years! I know this a touchy subject out there for lots of people, of course this IS my blog and those of you reading this and getting irritated can always move on to something else. :)

I leave for Birmingham in 9 days! Then off to Tennessee from there. It seems so weird that the time is that close. I remember when we moved here last November. It seemed so far away that Charles would be home and now we're down to the last few minutes and it seems cRaZy! I'm excited though. I'm gonna get a break from life for a while when he gets home. I'm gonna let Charles get a chance to be the stay at home dad for a month. I'm gonna sleep in and not cook any the entire month he's home. He'll need to get reacquainted with family life and I want to make sure he has lots of opportunities! I love you Charles!

Oh yeah, I also wanted to give my sister in law Jade a shout out for doing my laundry last night! That was nice, huh?! I thought so. I was up to my eyeballs in laundry from all the puking and diarrhea. So thanks Jade, my hero for the day. You're awesome!

So my friend Trisha just brought this poem over for me to read. It was all about the strength women have. It is so true too. Women are strong. I think about all the women in my life that I am close to and think about the things they have had to endure. I think of how they have handled some of the hardest things that can happen to a person and come out of it only stronger. I am grateful to be a woman. I'm grateful for the experiences I've had, good and bad, that have made me stronger. I'm thankful for the strength to get through the day with a terrible sinus infection and for the women who give a damn to want to help and the ones who call just because. We are important creatures. What the heck would men do without us? Probably walk around with their ding dongs in their hand asking where do I go from here. Of course I love all the men in my life too. I mean, hey, don't get me wrong they provide some things only a man can provide!

I'm feeling a little sad...

today. I haven't slept in about 36 hours and my eyelids feel as though they weigh 60 lbs a piece! Josh came upstairs last night and told me he had thrown up. It was 2 a.m. and I happened to still be up. I asked him where he threw up and of course it was all over the couch! That was a good time cleaning that up. I cleaned him up and put him in his bed and went to work on the mess. Still have the sinus infection by the way! Thankfully whatever it was he had passed as soon as he threw it up. No lingering virus! So this was good news. But the stench left in my couch is not so great. I wonder if i should just huck it and go get a new one. The kids have completely trashed the sucker anyway. Oh well I'm not really caring lately what my house looks like anyway. I guess we could let it get down to the pad and foam and it would still work.

I had to stand up in Relief Society today and talk about myself. The new president wanted all the sisters to get to know the new presidency on a personal level. This ward is awesome and always making me feel so good. We have good ladies in our ward. It was a good Sunday. I learned a lot about myself and it always feels good to be more self aware. I need to try harder and always do my best and the rest will come.

Back to the grindstone tomorrow, hopefully. I am crossing my fingers that we don't have any midnight wakings with someone vomiting on the carpet. I don't mind the vomit so much but I tell my kids to aim for something that can be thrown in the washer but this isn't always how it happens. I remember Charlie, one time, during 1st deployment of course, got sick. He was on the top bunk and instead of throwing up on his bed, he leans over the edge of the bunk and pukes ALL OVER EVERYTHING below. The bottom bunk, the carpet, walls, his brothers and all down the bed. It was spaghetti for dinner that night too. It was a teeny bit frustrating. I was up for an hour scrubbing that mess up. Loved it! I love 'em though! Anyway, I had to make an early post tonight since I will probably retire to bed early!

Oh I have a cool story for all the military families out there. So I am sitting in pack meeting on Thursday and night and look over and see this guy who has a very familiar face. It took me about 2 minutes to realize it was a guy we had been stationed with at Ft. Gordon. He and Charles had been home teaching companions and I had been his wife's visiting teacher. Pretty neat. I even recognized him on top of the 75+ lubs he has gained since getting out of the military. But hey, everybody's entitled to a few extra pounds, right? I don't mind chubby people. They're good too.

EXHAUSTED...

is the word that describes how I feel after being a single mom for what feels like 3 years. I know for sure, all my friends out there with deployed spouses or other single moms know exactly how I feel. Do you ever get to the point where you couldn't care less what your house looks like or how long your grass is or that you have nothing in the refrigerator? This is the stage I am at right now. I am so TIRED. I feel like I am about to have a mental breakdown. I am the only one that has to worry about EVERYTHING there is to worry about. Such as...doctor appts., parent-teacher conferences, callings, laundry, lawn mowing, visiting teaching, homework, housework, grocery shopping and all that that entales, sports, sick kids, bills, the dog and her vet visits, abusive grandmothers, irritating relatives,birthdays, Christmas, and the list goes on and on. I don't think a man will ever get this or understand how it feels. I don't think they get the mental part of it. I get a lot of offers from people asking me if I want them to help with my kids, but the thing folks just don't understand is it isn't the kids I really need a break from. It's the giant mental list that is constantly filled up with the things I mentioned a few sentences back. So, ladies, after all the crap we have to deal with don't you think we deserve a crazy minute from time to time. I mean can't we just at least go out of our element and act a little nuts and do something we wouldn't normally do without being chastised for it? I defintely think we should be able to do this. I mean it's either act out or end up in prison, right? I sure think so! I don't think a man would ever be able to grasp that mental overload and what it can drive you to do or say! Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I the only nutty broad out there that goes in-frigging-sane? Please feel free to comment on this matter! I am seriously at my wits end and I feel like I am supposed to be feeling guilty about this but I just DO NOT feel guilty. I think I am completely justified in feeling a little like a person that needs to be institutionalized.

I do have people that are more than willing to make me feel less overwhelmed. I went to my friend's (Collette) wedding tonight. She was a war widow that I had met in Clarksville. Her first husband was killed almost 3 years ago. They had 4 kids and it was a devastating time. It was so good to see her happy again! How awesome she finally gets some help and a new partner! After Trisha and I had returned home from the event I pulled up to my house and Uncle Matt had all the kids out there raking up the leaves that covered my yard. It was a little weight lifted. Then I asked my kids if they had seen the Budge family and Ryan told me they had already left my house and that Matt Budge had fixed a portion of my fence that wasn't closed in. Now we will be able to let our dog out in the yard without worrying about her getting out and having to chase her down! These 2 things were HUGE for me! I am so very grateful to these good men! Two checks off that list I was talking about earlier! Thanks guys, from the bottom of my heart.

Is anyone else as glad as I am that Halloween is over? We had our little party last night with all our Halloween edibles. We then went trick or treating. Me doing all of this with the worst sinus infection ever. One of those where it is so bad that my teeth hurt. I was so tired and sick. We got home and I went straight to bed. Cody came to bed with me and about 3 hours later he was up throwing up! What a great night! Then about 5 a.m. he had diarrhea all in my bed. I had to get up with the same sinus infection to bathe him and change the sheets! Yes I deserve the right to go crazy and do something out of character, right?!! I do believe so :)