Why...

do I go to church again? I understand when you have little ones that church might be a little miserable. BUT...when you have kids as old as mine are you should be able to look back on those days with a big grin and thank the good Lord they are over. Well... today, my big, grown children reminded me of what those days were like. There we are, in the middle of the opening prayer, when Charlie and Ryan, yes you read that correctly, start pinching each other and acting up. It was ridiculous. Once the prayer was over I made Charlie walk around the back of the chapel so he could sit on the opposite end of the bench. The 5 of us took up an entire long bench so everyone could be separated. Charlie was so mad at me for making him do this. But here's my question...do kids really think that we enjoy doing things like having to separate your well old enough to know better sons during a church meeting? I mean, it wouldn't look any sillier if I was sitting there with my husband acting like that. That's the thing kids don't understand. When you are that dang old it looks so ridiculous to sit and act like that. I did get a chuckle when I looked down the bench at Charlie all slumped over trying to act mad at me.

I need to have more of a positive attitude about life. This is hard for me sometimes. I got an email from my husband this morning telling me he might not leave on the date we have anticipated all along. Now here we have these plane tickets and it's too late to change them. Even if we did change them we would have no idea what date to change them to. It is all so very frustrating and the most maddening part of it all is there isn't a dang thing I can do about it. So why do I even need to worry with something I have no control over? I can still go and enjoy the hell out of my sister, right? Yes this is right! I guess at this point I can pray that the Lord will help things to work out. I guess we will see but I need to keep a positive attitude and be thankful I didn't have to live Emma's life :)

Speaking of Emma, we talked about her and Joseph in RS today. The teacher spoke of building family relationships. Well of course this made me think of a few posts back when I completely put my brother and his sweet wife in their place. I know, I know... this was probably not the sweetest way to go about this. That was probably not what they were speaking of when telling us to build strong family ties! I'm not perfect by any means but good heavens folks...I was at my wits end and his wife was making me mad. :| Excuses, excuses. Just give me a minute.

I don't think I can handle one more thing during the rest of this deployment. I feel like it has been one thing after the next and I just really want Charles to come home when they told me he would. I am so thankful I have an end to this year. I am blessed that my kids have been healthy and safe and fairly easy to deal with. It is almost over and I can look back and know that this has all been temporary. That's the fabulous thing about trials....they are only temporary. Then we will be able to look back and say I'm thankful for what I've learned but I'm glad as hell it's all over. It WILL work out.