Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Wild and CrAzY!

Charles is amazed there hasn't been a blog posting in 8 days since we had quite the week starting last Monday! There we were at 9 p.m. watching our beloved Operation Repo when we started hearing strange noises coming from my most prized household appliance, our washing machine! I went to check it out and found nothing out of the ordinary. The noises stopped so we continued on with the show. Charlie and Ryan had started some of their laundry before going to bed and Charlie decided it was finally time to do his homework (which translates to being a pain in our butts past bedtime). We have a rule in our house that parents have nothing to do with kids if it's after 8:30. Well, the noises in the machine started again and quickly got louder, then there was a loud crack and Charles and I both ran in there to see what in the world was going on. We discovered that our 2 oldest children had both put their soccer shin guards in the washing machine and one had become lodged in the seal of our 2 year old Maytag Epic front loader resulting in the seal becoming shredded and ruined.

YES! I was pissed and said a few choice words before sending them to bed. This incident has resulted in more rules at the Woods' house and we should have no more trouble with anyone tearing up my washing machine. Lucky for me, Charles has a good pair of testicles and can fix these types of things so that we don't have to pay repairmen to do it. He ordered the replacement part immediately and we were without our appliance for an entire week. It finally came when we were headed out of town to Phoenix. It was repaired on Sunday and on Monday I was able to do the 7 loads of laundry that had piled up through the week!

We left for Phoenix Friday night so we could attend the temple on Saturday. We stopped in Tucson for dinner and ate at a place called Frankie's which serves up authentic Philly cheese steak sandwiches. Charles had talked to a guy from work that is a South Philly native and swore this was the best place for Philly Cheesesteaks in Tucson. So we stopped there for dinner, thinking we were going to have the meal of a lifetime, and we were slightly disappointed. For one, we're from the south. We don't really care what they eat in Philly. Maybe what we think is delicious might not be so tasty to others. Don't get me wrong, it was a good sandwich but I won't be rushing back there any time soon:) It was a fun experience though! We arrived in Phoenix just in time to get to bed. We got up early the next morning, went to the temple and came back to our hotel with 3 extra kids (so their parents could go to the temple) and met up with another family with 3 kids. So there we were with about 9 kids in 55 degree rainy weather sitting under a pavilion watching them swim in an outdoor pool! There was also a hot tub so they were able to at least stay warm. It was a grand ole time. We stopped at Ikea on the way out of town and discovered that it was the largest, most overwhelming store I have ever encountered! Apparently it is a Swedish chain that the Swedes think is full of cheaply made crap that Americans would die for! They're not sure what our fascination for this store is all about. It was unlike any shopping experience we have ever had and I loved it. Although we did question the durability of a lot of their merchandise. Oh yeah, we did leave empty handed!

Anyway, I'm training for a 5K. I'm not quite sure that I will actually run one but I will be fully trained for one. I'm in my 4th week of training and it is going rather well. I still haven't developed a love for running but I'm at least doing it. I was at the gym yesterday and there were only 2 treadmills opened so I darted to grab one and the lady I was there with hopped on the other one. I of course was next to this black girl who had a terrible stench. I didn't notice the odor until I was well into my run. I began catching whiffs of what smelled exactly like a butthole. I inconspicuously check my pits to make sure it wasn't me. Once I determined it wasn't me that stunk I started to realize it was the chick next to me. I knew it wasn't my friend because I had been in the car with her and she hadn't smelled foul. The odor got stronger and stronger and was a mix of horrendous B.O., butthole and dirty female crotch. I was running on an empty stomach since I had skipped breakfast so I was extremely weak to the stench. At one point I had to ball my towel up and hold it to my nose. I thought it was either that or I would start gagging. I had to do what was the least embarrassing to me and to the stinky girl and I figured that was it. I thought if my eyes started to water along with my mouth, not the good mouth watering either, and then the gag reflex would kick in. Now, THAT would be super embarrassing! So I chose the towel trick and ran with it held to my nose until she exited the treadmill. I did try to make it look as though I was wiping sweat but then I thought if she had the nerve to go out in public smelling like that then I should be able to have the nerve to prevent having to smell it! So I just balled it up and put it to my nose and had no reservations about not trying to be inconspicuous. Wash your butt ladies, not to mention washing your unmentionables! For cryin' out loud. The thing is, it's not like you wake up and stink like that if you have showered the day before. It takes a few days to get to stinking like that! Now I can't seem to erase the smell out of my mind and I will gag when the thought of it creeps in!

Anyway, that was our week. Oh yeah, we did gut the inside of our RV. Now we are ready to start the fixing up process! It's very exciting to think I won't have to sleep in a sleeping bag on a hard tent floor ever again:) That's what I call camping! Here are some before pictures.

Monday, February 15, 2010


is when a smile has an orgasm! I hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day. This picture was on the front of the card I received from my husband yesterday. He knows me well! I laughed my butt off:)

Lately I've had issues and it has made me want to reflect on the hand I've been dealt in this life. I recently was poking around on facebook and was deleting all the people that had added me as a "friend" that knew me when I was a teenager in Gadsden. They added me, not because we were friends in high school, but, because they wanted to know where my life has ended up. There is one girl, a grown woman now, that is always adding pictures of days gone by and I seem to get resentful whenever I look at these pictures. I seem to be pissed at all the fun she was allowed to have because my mother did a good job at ruining any fun we could have had. Friends came and went because they, or their parents, became fed up with my mother's crazy ass ways. She was very embarrassing and ALWAYS did things that would make you want to crawl in a place never to be heard from again. She, seriously, made being a teenager MISERABLE for me and my sister. So when I look at these pictures, yes, I am resentful at what I feel like I missed out on. However, I was doing some seriously reflecting yesterday and thought about all this. And what I came to realize was all of my good memories have started since I met Charles at 16 years old. We have nearly 15 great years of marriage (June 14) under our belts and we have 4 great kids that are now old enough for us to leave at home and not worry about having to get a babysitter. So, as I clicked through old high school memories that belong to someone else I was grateful for my shitty high school years because my life has only gotten better since those days. For some people their teenage years were the best days of their life but for me my life just keeps getting better. Now I just need to figure out how to get rid of all that resentment I have for my mom. My first step was to rid my facebook friends list of all the people I knew from Gadsden and that I didn't really even care about to begin with! One thing I realized as I flipped through this chick's picture album was that she is either divorced or is going through one or contemplating one! I feel lucky and blessed that my life turned out better than it began. We lived through our 20's and now through our 30's raising our family and growing in ways I could never have imagined. All of my best memories involve Charles and the boys! It's ok that I don't have fun filled photos of my school days. I have grown up with Charles and I am excited for the day to come when we can live a life after our kids are raised and spend our days finding out what it is like to have it just be the 2 of us. Not that I don't dearly love my kids and being a mother, but any mom out there has to admit motherhood does get to be pain in the a-- at times! Unless of course you are the authors of the "blessed beyond belief" blogs and therefore would never in a million years admit your kids drive you effin crazy! BUT....I have no problem whatsoever admitting mine drive me nuts. Like today, Charlie has asked me about 618 times when am I going to take him to Wal-Mart so he can purchase an sir-soft gun. He ain't gonna leave me alone until I do. I love him to pieces though. He spent 4 hours of his Saturday helping an old lady, with a junk filled house and 3 cats, move. He is always involved in service and takes his deacon responsibilities serious so I should just go ahead and take him to purchase his gun!

Cody comes in the office this morning, where I was sitting at the computer desk, wearing a black, long sleeve, Halloween t-shirt and a pair of black soccer shorts. I ask him "Cody, what is that you're wearing?" His reply "some sexy stuff!" and turns to exit the room. It can't get any better than that!

"Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a better past."
Anne Lamott

I'm getting better every day! I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it people like me!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


do so many people have to put a psychological spin on everything? Take bed wetting for instance, some people say that kids wet the bed because there has to be some psychological something that has affected them. Why can't it just be that they have small bladders and are heavy sleepers? Obviously, there are some kids and adults, for that matter, that need to be on meds. I actually have some people in my family that could probably function a lot better if they were medicated! Then you have people that want to have their kids labeled with some "disorder," slap them on some medication and then do nothing to change the behavior. I think these days some kids just need a good ol' fashioned ass-whoopin! But the whole thing that got me thinking about how people try to put a mental spin on everything is the website goodreads.com. Yes, I know, some are probably wondering how all of that came about from a book website. I was going through reviews of books I have thought about reading and people put these mile long reviews on there with all of their deepest darkest thoughts. I mean, hell people, did you like the book or not? I don't need all of your baggage along with your opinion. They just kill me with trying to be so deep and it comes across corny as hell! Just for the record, I hate when a wife is called "wifey." I can't think of a cornier word. Don't ever call me a wifey. Absolute silliness.

And speaking of needing an ass beating, what makes all these bleeding heart liberals think that freedom of speech is only for them? They think that amendment is great UNTIL you disagree with them. Then once you don't agree with them they want to pull all that politically incorrect bull crap. I just can't believe all the grief those idiots were giving over the Tim Tebow anti-abortion commercial. Doesn't that man have a right to stand up for what he believes? We are constantly having to witness all the PETA sluts writhing around naked in the name of saving animals but heaven forbid someone try and stand up for an unborn infant's rights! It's unbelievable! It downright pisses me off.

On Monday afternoon, after weeks of not having a desire to get my house in order, I finally got the oomph. I disinfected Josh and Cody's nasty room and got the game closet in fabulous order. I worked for the majority of the afternoon to get it done and it looked wonderful upon completion! When we finished I told Josh and Cody that if their room got that disorderly again I was going to beat them both. Cody says to me..."ok Mom, I think I know what disorderly means." I love that bald headed kid! He started piano lessons yesterday and loves it. He's been excited for weeks about starting and now we will have a good excuse to be piano owners!

Charles is doing a bike relay this weekend. It's an 18 mile loop that you do over and over until the 24 hour time period is up. The team consists of 4 men and when one guy is finished riding then another takes over and so forth until 24 hours is over. It benefits hunger in Tucson and I'm not sure why that sounds fun to him. But hey, to each his own! Isn't that the adage? I sure love him and maybe for his efforts someone will get some delicious food! Of course it falls over President's Day weekend and all 4 kids will be home for 4 days! But that's ok cuz I'm smiling and I love them all:) SEE!

My sister put me on to this chick named Ann Lamott. She has some funny quotes out there and I saw this one and liked it...."Expectations are resentments under construction."
Anne Lamott. I have found in my life that this statement is so darn true! And one more that made me laugh and I too, have felt like this.......
"I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish."
Anne Lamott

Friday, February 5, 2010

Politically Incorrect...

Looks like I'm not the only one! Amen to what this man had to say!