LAUGHTER......

is when a smile has an orgasm! I hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day. This picture was on the front of the card I received from my husband yesterday. He knows me well! I laughed my butt off:)

Lately I've had issues and it has made me want to reflect on the hand I've been dealt in this life. I recently was poking around on facebook and was deleting all the people that had added me as a "friend" that knew me when I was a teenager in Gadsden. They added me, not because we were friends in high school, but, because they wanted to know where my life has ended up. There is one girl, a grown woman now, that is always adding pictures of days gone by and I seem to get resentful whenever I look at these pictures. I seem to be pissed at all the fun she was allowed to have because my mother did a good job at ruining any fun we could have had. Friends came and went because they, or their parents, became fed up with my mother's crazy ass ways. She was very embarrassing and ALWAYS did things that would make you want to crawl in a place never to be heard from again. She, seriously, made being a teenager MISERABLE for me and my sister. So when I look at these pictures, yes, I am resentful at what I feel like I missed out on. However, I was doing some seriously reflecting yesterday and thought about all this. And what I came to realize was all of my good memories have started since I met Charles at 16 years old. We have nearly 15 great years of marriage (June 14) under our belts and we have 4 great kids that are now old enough for us to leave at home and not worry about having to get a babysitter. So, as I clicked through old high school memories that belong to someone else I was grateful for my shitty high school years because my life has only gotten better since those days. For some people their teenage years were the best days of their life but for me my life just keeps getting better. Now I just need to figure out how to get rid of all that resentment I have for my mom. My first step was to rid my facebook friends list of all the people I knew from Gadsden and that I didn't really even care about to begin with! One thing I realized as I flipped through this chick's picture album was that she is either divorced or is going through one or contemplating one! I feel lucky and blessed that my life turned out better than it began. We lived through our 20's and now through our 30's raising our family and growing in ways I could never have imagined. All of my best memories involve Charles and the boys! It's ok that I don't have fun filled photos of my school days. I have grown up with Charles and I am excited for the day to come when we can live a life after our kids are raised and spend our days finding out what it is like to have it just be the 2 of us. Not that I don't dearly love my kids and being a mother, but any mom out there has to admit motherhood does get to be pain in the a-- at times! Unless of course you are the authors of the "blessed beyond belief" blogs and therefore would never in a million years admit your kids drive you effin crazy! BUT....I have no problem whatsoever admitting mine drive me nuts. Like today, Charlie has asked me about 618 times when am I going to take him to Wal-Mart so he can purchase an sir-soft gun. He ain't gonna leave me alone until I do. I love him to pieces though. He spent 4 hours of his Saturday helping an old lady, with a junk filled house and 3 cats, move. He is always involved in service and takes his deacon responsibilities serious so I should just go ahead and take him to purchase his gun!

Cody comes in the office this morning, where I was sitting at the computer desk, wearing a black, long sleeve, Halloween t-shirt and a pair of black soccer shorts. I ask him "Cody, what is that you're wearing?" His reply "some sexy stuff!" and turns to exit the room. It can't get any better than that!

"Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a better past."
— Anne Lamott

I'm getting better every day! I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it people like me!